Through the Looking Glass
by Aorta Heartless
Summary: The Philosopher's Stone wasn't the only thing that left the Mirror of Erised. !UPDATES ARE SPORADIC!
1. Mirror of Erised

Title: Through the Looking Glass

Category: Harry Potter/American McGee's Alice

Language: English

Rating: T Language, Content

Spoilers: Harry Potter Books 1-7, Alice 2: Madness Returns

Summery: The Philosopher's Stone wasn't the only thing to leave the Mirror of Erised that night.

**A plot bunny that bit us in the ass.**

_Read Malice Magic: Redone and that inspired some parts._

**Sadly, that's been discontinued. **

_Most upsetting. Anyways, the first idea was to have Harry actually _go_ to Wonderland when he was about 7 or so… _

**But the idea of Alice being stuck inside the Mirror of Erised was more interesting.**

_So without any further ado…_

_**Through the Looking Glass Chapter 1 The Mirror of Erised**_

"Tell me, boy. What. Do. You. See?" The Possessed Professor said.

"I-I see myself, Dumbledore's handing me the Quidditch Cup." Harry lied quickly. In truth, Harry saw his mirror-self wink and put the stone into his mirror-pocket, and felt the weight of the stone in his own pocket. More disturbing he saw a pale, dark haired woman put her hand on his shoulder, and also felt that but only for a moment.

_Use the levitation spell to give him a wedgie._ The woman seemed to say.

"He liesss." Another voice, this one as cold and as smooth as a snake, said.

"Ma-master?" Quirrel stuttered.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Harry yelled showing great precision as he levitated only the Possessed Professor's underwear. 'Wedgie style!' He thought

"The pain…" He said.

Harry jumped through the flames, praying that the potion hadn't worn off. It hadn't.

_Even if it had I wouldn't let you burn._ The woman said.

Harry dodged to the side and hide just to the side of the doorway.

Quirrel jumped through the flames as well. "Wingardium Leviosa!" Harry gave the teacher another wedgie, this time also banging him against the ceiling.

_Make a replica, The Philosopher's Stone is too valuable to leave it alone._

Dumbledore walked through the flames calm as he could be, just in time to see Quirrel fall from the ceiling and curl into a ball and whimper in pain. What he didn't see was Harry turning a vial into a replica of the Philosopher's stone.

Dumbledore stared at the fallen professor, then looked around and saw Harry in the corner. "Did you do this, Harry?"

"Umm… Yes?" Harry said. "I wanted to stop him without causing him to much harm and I remembered all of the wedgies that Dudley gave me, so I used that to my advantage."

As Dumbledore stunned him, a black mist rose from the body, and attacked Harry. A flash of light, both Dumbledore and Harry thought they saw a thin woman swing a croquet mallet at the black mist, and it was repelled.

Harry didn't mention the _swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!_ He thought he heard.

"Perhaps we should take this upstairs?" Dumbledore said offering his hand to the boy.

"I-I lost the Philosopher's Stone. Harry said seemingly looking through his pockets. "I got it out of the mirror and it went into my pocket, and now I can't find it!"

Dumbledore outwardly looked calm but was thinking, 'Crap, crap, crap, crap.. The little brat got it out and _lost_ it?'

_Don't worry. It's safer now than it was in Gringotts or here._ The voice said.

"Why don't we go upstairs and talk about this." Dumbledore said.

"A-alright." Harry said weakly, getting up or trying to and collapsing due to the emotional toll that the night had taken.

_**2 weeks later Great Hall**_

Harry was not a happy camper. He had missed the last Quidditch game, and therefore the Quidditch Cup, and the Slytherins were smirking due to their major lead in the House Cup.

"Congratulations, Slytherin for taking the Cup once more." Dumbledore said also smirking. "Or I would say that if I wasn't taking recent events into account."

The Slytherins, and all of the other houses, looked at him confused.

"Just two weeks ago, Voldemort" _Insert flinches from all houses_ "was once again defeated." _Insert gasps of awe and disbelief_

**Insert point awardment here.**

_Insert cheers from non-Slytherins_

_**Three weeks later. Hogwarts Express**_

"So you'll call?" Harry asked. He hadn't heard anything from the Voice since he got out of the third floor corridor

'I wonder if I'll here from it.' He thought.

_**King's Cross Train Station**_

__**Insert end of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone**

_Chapter 1!_

**Chapter 2 will nearly skip 2****nd**** year.**

_Just until the actual Chamber of Secrets._

**This will take second string to Summon Bloodline.**

_Yep. On the back burner this is. Rating may go up. Alice is the Voice!_

**See the cover for Alice 2:Madness Returns box art for visual on what she looks like.**

_Spoilers for all books and Alice 2: Madness Returns. _

**The All Hail the Log stuff will take third string. **

_What? _

**Meaning I'll post this story before the Log stories.**


	2. Chamber of Secrets

_**Through the Looking Glass: Chapter 2 Chamber of Secrets**_

**Hello again! Aorta knows she should be working on Summon Bloodline, but Aorta doesn't care at the moment. Also when Aorta was writing this Aorta found out that Microsoft Word does not recognize "wedgie" as a word! Which is odd since it recognized "wedgies" as a word. Aorta also knows that she was extremely lazy in **

_Indeed Tamesis agrees with both statements and wants to work on her Log stories… Uchiha Massacre… Proving Minato in chapter 1 correct._

**Aorta says that Through the Looking Glass is a very stubborn plot bunny. **

_Very stubborn. Moving on!_

**Aorta and Tamesis present to you! **

_**Through the Looking Glass Chapter 2: Chamber of Secrets!**_

* * *

Tom Riddle laughed as Harry collapsed from the Basilisk's poison.

Harry saw red feathers as Fawkes landed on his chest. Fawkes was surprisingly light.

"Even Dumbledore's bird knows your dying!" Riddle crowed.

_And he's a moron. Phoenix tears are the true cure-all_ The Voice from last year said.

'Wher-who are you?' Harry thought as he watched Riddle strut around like the cocky arse he was.

_My name is Alice Liddle._ Alice said. _I was the one who talked to you last year._

'What did you do with the Stone?' Harry was very curious as to where it went.

_To Wonderland._ She said simply.

'Wonderland. As in Lewis Carroll's Wonderland?'

_The very same. Fawkes is almost done with healing you. Bird,_ Fawkes cocked his head as if actually hearing Alice. _Act as if you failed, and pick him up. Flame over to a blocked off area, and set Harry down. Harry, after Fawkes does his bit, tackle Riddle, get your wand and cast "Reducto" on the Diary. He hasn't gotten all of the girl's life force just yet._

'Will Ginny be alright?' Harry was worried about his friend's sister.

_If we hurry._ Alice finished as Fawkes started the combo.

Harry felt claws grabbing on to his shoulder. *Fwoomp* A gentle heat came over him as Fawkes flamed over behind Riddle. Harry remained still.

"Even the bloody bird's tears weren't enough." Riddle smirked. He froze as he heard scrambling behind him.

"BONZAIII!" Harry yelled as he dropped from the top of the statue. Riddle was a bookworm therefore, despite being a half-blood Slytherin, did not have good reflexes from people from above, from the front, back or sides yes, above or below, no.

"Sh-" he said as Harry hit him. The younger boy grabbed his wand. "Wingardium Leviosa!" 'Wedgie style!' The older boy curled into a ball as his underwear jerked up. "pain…" He said in a high small voice.

Harry scrambled away from the boy and towards to Diary. "Reducto!" And the Diary was no more, as was Tom Riddle who screamed as he vanished into smoke.

"Holy mackerel." Harry said.

_That work surprisingly well._ Alice said as Ginny groaned from her place on the floor. She sat up and promptly screamed due to the giant snake right in front of her.

"Ginny!" Harry went over to the panicking girl. "Ginny, calm down."

Ginny looked into the face of her rescuer, and promptly fainted like the fangirl she was. She woke up to someone slapping her. "Ha-Harry?"

"Sorry about hitting you. I can't really carry you very well." Harry said.

"Where's Tom!" Ginny was nervous about seeing the older boy.

"He's, umm dead." Harry said, not knowing how she would react. "I destroyed the Diary and he went away."

"Are you sure?" Ginny could guess that the Diary would be rather hard to destroy.

"Very strong reducto to the center of the Diary did it." Harry said pointing to the crater that still had some remnants of paper in it.

"Ca-can I destroy the rest?" She asked.

"Need some help getting over there?" Harry didn't blame her.

"I-I think I can make it." She said getting to her feet and walking over to the crater. Harry picked up to paper that was left over and put it on the ground before the girl.

"Reducto!" she said putting everything she had into the spell. *BOOM* The paper was vaporized and both pre-teens were blown back and away by the crater made by the girl.

"It's bigger than mine." Harry commented. Ginny blushed at the compliment. "Let's get going."

"A-alright" Ginny was shaken up by the fact that the person she had bared her soul to was the Dark Lord Voldemort. "I don't wanna-"

"We don't have to." Harry said. "At least not yet."

_Smooth move. She needs rest in a quiet area… Away from her mother._ Alice commented.

'Are you staying this time?' Harry asked the spirit.

_Yes. There is much you need to know before all hell breaks loose._

The pair walked for a ways before they saw Ron and a dazed looking Lockhart.

"Ginny!" Ron ran over to his sister pushing his friend away. "Are you alright?"

"Ow." Harry said from his place on the ground. "Pretty colors." A bang on the head had caused a concussion, along with the poison, the emotional toll, and running around like a coward for 20 odd minutes it became too much and he fainted.

"Oh dear!" Lockhart said. "I do believe you knocked the boy unconscious."

'Way to state the obvious moron.' Ginny thought. "I'm _fine_ Ron. Harry is not!" She was worried about her savior. "Ummm… Fawkes could you help us get to the Hospital Wing?" She asked the fire bird nicely.

Fawkes trilled as he landed on the girl's shoulder. "Ron could you grab Harry, and Lockhart, could you hold onto Harry while Fawkes takes us up?"

"I can do that." The Memory-wiped man said.

Ron nodded, though a little peeved that Ginny was the one ordering him around.

"Sometime today would be nice Ron." Ginny mimicked her mother perfectly.

Ron picked up the arm Lockhart wasn't holding and grabbed his sister's hand. Fawkes flamed the all to the Hospital Wing causing the healer to jump. "My word!" She said taking in the state of all but one of the people who had been brought in. "Lockhart, put Harry on the bed, then go sit on that one." She ordered the blond. "You," She indicated Ginny. "Go lie down. And you," Ron's turn to be ordered. "Go get everyone; they're in the Great Hall."

Everyone did as they were told, though Lockhart help onto the sword watching the light play off of the rubies. (ADD!Lockhart)

As Pomfrey fussed over Harry and Ginny, Dumbledore came in. "Is everyone alright?" before thinking to look around.

Pomfrey sent a Healer's-Glare-of-Doom over her shoulder. "Look around, _Headmaster_. Smartest man of our age, my ass." She muttered.

"Pretty, pretty, pretty rocks." Lockhart sang quietly to himself.

Harry was dead to the world, and Ginny was slightly high due to the potions Pomfrey gave her and was humming "God Save the Queen".

"My baby!" Molly Weasely said pushing Dumbledore to the side.

Pomfrey intercepted her. "Not now. Everyone get out! Dumbledore, Fudge, and sick people stay." She said. "What part get out, don't you lot understand?" She said quietly, but dangerously. "NOW!"

Harry twitched, Lockhart jumped, cutting himself on the blade, Ginny looked at the Healer, and everyone but the Sick People, Dumbledore, and Fudge left in a hurry.

"Girl, explain what happened." Fudge demanded earning a glare from Pomfrey who had moved from Harry to Lockhart whose left hand was bleeding. "Stupid DADA teachers, stupid snakes, stupid Minister…" She muttered showing that healers could be evil.

'Scary healer.' Lockhart thought wanting to escape but for some reason knowing that escape attempts from Hoqwarts' Hospital Wing were futile. 'Very scary.'

"I can't remember most of it. But when I woke up, at first I saw a very large snake in front of me and I screamed, Harry came over and calmed me down. He brought me to my brother and Professor Lockhart." Lockhart looked up at the mention of his name. "But Ron knocked Harry over to get to me, Harry hit his head said something about "Pretty Colors" and passed out, then Fawkes brought us her, Pomfrey sent Ron to get you guys, Lockhart to put Harry on the bed and go sit down himself and me to lie down."

"…" Both of the leaders were shocked at the girl's story.

"So Potter would know the rest." Fudge said looking at the boy, then at the healer who was glaring at them.

"I'll send word when he wakes up." She said, living up to her name of "Dragon Lady of the Hospital Wing" (dubbed so by Sirius Black 1973). "Now _out_ so my patients can rest." The pair of men left quickly. "And tell Weasely that she can't see any of them until I say so!"

"You heard Poppy." Dumbledore said to the matron of the Weasely clan. "Though I believe that extends to the rest of you as well."

_**2 weeks later Hogwarts Express**_

"Right. So I'll owl when I can?" Harry said to his friends, which now included Ginny due to the amount of time they had spent together in the Hospital Wing.

"I'll be in France with my family most of the summer, but I'll write if I can." Hermione said.

"I'll write when I can too." Ginny said, while still somewhat of a fangirl, and still president of the Harry Potter Fan Club, was not as bad as she had been just a week ago. Harry meeting with the HPFC had caused a great deal of attention, and ruining of many a dream. Their larger than life hero has actually quite short, no longer a hunk but an adorable little chibi. Still, the HPFC loved him, even if it was in a different way now.

_At least you don't have to worry about getting random underwear now._

'From the ones at Hogwarts.' Harry replied.

_Word spreads fast in Fangirl circles._

'…' Harry paused.

_Don't worry once they start again, you'll actually want most of them._

'Can't I just start writing back to the ones I know?' Harry mentally wept.

_Bad idea. They'd just send you other stuff… Like pictures of them in the clothing… or out of it._

'Oh GOD that's wrong.' Harry twitched.

_**2 Hours later Privet Drive**_

"Boy, there will be some new rules this summer." Uncle Vernon said once they got home. "First, you will do all chores Petunia and I assign. Second, you will not be eating with us unless told before hand. Third, Marge is visiting in a few weeks so I want you to behave."

"Au-Aunt Marge is coming?" Harry was afraid of Marge Dursley, and had been since he had been chased by her favorite dog when he was 7. "What about Ripper?"

"You'll find out won't you?" Vernon grinned.

_Arse. Just a few more weeks, Harry, just a few weeks. Then you will be free for the rest of the summer._ Alice whispered.

"Now go to your room!" Vernon said pointing in the direction of said bedroom.

* * *

**Next Chapter will deal with Harry's summer up until he leaves Dursley's for London. Chapters will be posted when typed up, or soon there after**

_Same with Summon Bloodline!_

**Most people reading this don't read that… ALSO! Reviews are really, **_**really,**_** REALLY loved. I need them.**

_Alice will mentally train Harry, Like Occulumency, foundations for wandless magic…_

**MY STORY! Though Tamesis is right. That and dealing with Aunt Marge… And going to London. But the chapter will end when Harry settles down for the night at the Leaky Cauldron… **


	3. Omake: Where Alice Was

"**Where the Hell am I?" By Alice Liddle**

_**1904**_

Alice felt the call of the Mirror, a large metal mirror that reflected a different her, adult, psycho-insane. The mirror her smiled as non-Mirror Alice backed up into the Mirror other behind her she felt the pull and saw the Mirror Alice start screaming obviously foul language. Non-Mirror Alice briefly saw a strange gold doorway as she fell into the other Mirror.

"****, damn wizards and their ****ing MIRRORS!" The Alice in Lewis Carroll's Mirror said glaring at the panicking Alice in the Mirror of Erised.

_**1991**_

"I tell you, Albus." An elderly man said. "This Mirror can show you your heart's desire."

"Nicholas, a Mirror like that could destroy you." Albus Dunbledore said. "How cou-" He stopped as he looked at the Mirror of Erised. He saw his former friend holding a pair of woolen socks out today with a smile on his face, not a cruel sadistic smile that he had taken to wearing at the end, but a true smile that he wore when they were young. Dumbledore noticed that his Mirror self also looked much younger."

"What do you see Albus?" Nicholas asked. "Perhaps an old friend?"

"I see a pair of woolen socks." Albus said after a few more minutes.

"I see a strange dark haired girl." Nicholas Flamel. "She was pounding at the metal."

"Why?" Albus asked turning away from his heart's desire.

"I have my heart's desire already." He said. "I am perfectly happy with my wife and my work. Speaking of which, I would like to hide use this to hide my work. I would also like to trust you with it."

"Are you sure?" Albus knew that Flamel knew that he was rather power hungry.

"Consider it a test of character." Nicholas replied. 'Assuming you'll get it out at all.'

"Very well." Albus agreed. "I'm guessing that you'll be the one to put the Stone into the Mirror?"

"Of course I will." He replied.

_**August 1991**_

Nicholas stood before the Mirror of Erised and gazed into it. "Alice, he said quietly, the girl looked up, and smiled as she saw the alchemist. He, and his wife, had spent quite a few hours talking to the girl. "I need you to protect my Stone." The girl nodded her consent. "However I will not be able to come to you for a while." Alice's smile faded.

"How should I protect it?" Alice said upset that her friend was sending away. "Who should I give it to?"

"Give it to someone who wants it but not to use it." Nicholas said.

"So I can't give it to the old guy?" Alice said.

"Correct." Flamel paused. "I'm much older than him." He pouted.

"But he looks older." Alice said mirroring his pose.

"Be Careful Alice." Nicholas said. "I believe you will be able to leave the Mirror when you can release the Stone."

"Yay!" Alice said twirling. "Freedom!"

"As I said, be careful." The Old Man said.

"Wait, isn't this how you stay alive?" Alice stopped.

"Only one of them." The creator of the Philosopher's Stone said. "We made a second more durable one."

"Good" Alice said as the man left her. 'I'm alone again… At least I'm away from that other Mirror *****' She thought.

_**1992**_

Alice watched as the first two people she had since January fought.

"Tell me, boy. What. Do. You. See?" The Man in Purple said.

"I-I see myself, Dumbledore's handing me the Quidditch Cup." The boy lied quickly. Alice saw her chance at freedom. She could see that the boy wanted to keep the Stone safe. Alice briefly took over the boy's Mirror self, tossed the stone up and down and put it in his pocket. She felt his surprise but was impressed that he only showed as bed lying.

Alice withdrew from the boy's Mirror Self and put her hand on his should drawing her out of the Mirror and into him.

The man, Professor Quirrel, attacked.

Alice went through the boy's mind to see how he could fight.

"Use the Levitation Charm to give him a wedgie." She told the boy and was pleased when he did.

She was not pleased when Harry ran through the fire. She was prepared to protect the boy, but was surprised when the flames did not harm him. She heard him thank god that the potion hadn't stopped working.

"Even if it had I wouldn't let you burn." She said. The Man in Purple followed Harry through the flames, just as Harry dodged to the side to hide. The boy gave the Man in Purple another, more powerful, wedgie.

"Make a replica, the Philosopher's Stone is too powerful to leave it alone." Alice said to her temporary container.

The old man who Nicholas had shown the Mirror to, came through the other flames just in time to see the Man in Purple fall from the ceiling. He didn't see Harry trying to turn a vial into a replica.

Dumbledore stared at the fallen professor, then looked around and saw Harry in the corner. "Did you do this, Harry?"

"Umm… Yes?" Harry said. "I wanted to stop him without causing him too much harm and I remembered all of the wedgies that Dudley gave me, so I used that to my advantage."

The old man sent a red beam to the Man in Purple knocking him into blessed unconsciousness, and a black mist came out of the man.

'Like hell you'll hurt him!' Alice thought as she sent a blast of white light using a croquet mallet at it and said "_swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"_

_That last bit caused Alice to fall unconscious from exhaustion, due to following the Stone out of the Mirror, contacting Harry several times, and the protection she had the briefly give. She was also fairly sure she had killed the spirit thing._

_**1993**_

_The pain in her container's arm brought Alice back to the world of the living fast._

_She saw the big-ass snake fall away from her. 'HOLY SH_-!' She thought. A flash of red told her that a phoenix had followed the boy._

_She heard Tom gloat, and thought 'Damn he's hot.' "And he's a moron, Pheonix tears are the true cure-all." She said to the boy who panicked slightly._

_*Insert rest of Story*_

_**Lewis Carroll's Mirror belongs to Syfy and Warehouse 13. Alice belongs to Lewis Carroll and American McGee. Harry, Professor Quirrel, Dumbledore, Fawkes, the Mirror of Erised, and Tom Belong to J.K. Rowling, Nicholas Flamel belongs to himself.**_

_**Plot belongs to me. MY PLOT! Any resemblance to any other Fanfiction is by pure chance and not intended.**_

_**Next Chapter will be what was promised at the end of chapter 2.**_

_**Also I will be using book 3+4 as plot... kinda. Same basic plot. Like the Triwizard Tournament's task. Only Harry will be awesome at them. And using stuff from Wonderland...**_


	4. Harry's Summer at the Dursley's

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 3

**WHEEE! *Spins on swivel chair* In this story I will be taking elements from the other HP books, other fandoms, my own stories, and… what ever I think of.**

_We will tell you if that has happened._

**The reason for the soon to be slow updates is A) We got Pokemon White, B) We start Training 9/6… Which will take most of the day.**

_Pokemon White is actually on a ROM, and it took _FOREVER_ to find a working copy…_

**In English. Found it in Japanese quickly.**

_Lots of Cutscenes though._

**The bad guys, in theory**_, _**all that bad. Only we can tell that they are bad guys is the fact that they use Gen V's version of Zubat and Rattata!**

_evil, evil, EVIL!_

**Team Plasma, besides having an awesome logo, wants to free the pokemon from the human trainers. The end does not justify the means.**

_They act like Team Rocket/Aqua/Magma/Galactic. So they are the bad guys._

**With in 30 minutes of playing they stole a little girl's pokemon! Those monsters!**

_Anyways slow updates for all fics have those reasons._

**Or not enough reviews…**

_Aorta…_

**MWHAHAHA! Through the Looking Glass Chapters will be held hostage until review count reaches 10!**

_*Head/Desk.* That may happen with Summon Bloodline too… Only 15 reviews instead of 10._

**Moving on!**

**Through the Looking Glass Chapter 3**

**The Value of Living Books, Exploding Aunts, and Busses That Defy the Laws of Physics!**

**_July 31 midnight_**

Harry looked into the mirror wondering when Alice would return.

**_Two days ago_**

_I'm going to get some stuff to help you be stronger._ She said. _It will take at least a day, but no more than two._

'Alright.' Harry replied, knowing that she would return.

**_July 31_**

A series of taps at the window alerted Harry to the owls outside of it, three owls to be precise.

One was a regal looking barn owl, from Hogwarts judging by the letter. The package it also bore was probably from Hagrid.

The second was his own snowy Hedwig. A large box was strapped to her feet.

The third owl, it was being carried by the other two. Errol, the Weasley's elderly owl was, as usual, half dead from exhaustion. 'A feather light charm would do him wonders.' Harry thought.

_Or retirement._ Harry heard along with a thump. _Happy Birthday._ Harry sawAlice in the mirror and four books on the table.

"Do you mind if I open these first?" Harry asked quietly.

_Not at all._ Alice said stretching out in the mirror's frame. _Though I'd be careful with the one that's twitching._

Harry looked down and saw that the one that was most likely from Hagrid, was indeed twitching. "Errol first." He said untying the half dead bird and placing him next to Hedwig's food and water bowls. "Hoot" Errol said. 'Thank you'

Harry opened the letter first.

*Insert Ron's letter*

"It's good they got some money." Harry said. "They deserve it." He turned to the package. In it was what seemed to be a spinning top. Another note was included.

*insert Ron's second note*

"Weird." Harry said placing it on the bedside table.

The Hogwarts owl twitched and hooted. It was _not_ used to having to wait. "I'm coming, I'm coming." Harry said as he undid the knots. Once relived of its burden, the owl left.

*Insert Hogwarts letter*

"Awesome, if I get this signed I can go to Hogsmead." Harry said turning the parchment over.

_Or you could forge it. _Alice said.

"Now Hagrid's thing." Harry said looking at the twitching package.

*Insert Hagrid's note*

"Useful for the next school year?" Harry said as he picked the package up. He ran his hand up the sides causing it to shudder and still.

_That can't be good._Alice said from her frame.

Harry opened the package to reveal the Monster Book of Monsters. "Probably for Care of Magical Creatures."

_Probably._ Alice said staring at it. Both of them jumped as the book shuddered back to life. _Rub the spine!_ She yelled.

Harry quickly obeyed, and was highly disturbed when it went flat and calm. "That is creepy. Very, very creepy. Anyways, on to 'Moine's present."

*Insert Hermione's letter and Present*

_Thoughtful._ Alice said. V_ery thoughtful. The boy's gift seems to be last minute. Judging by the relative uselessness of it._ She finished looking at the item in question.

Harry groaned. Ron had been a very sore point. "He's a normal teenage boy." Harry said.

_Pardon me for being raised with manners._ Alice said snidely. _Your cousin at least knows to chew with his mouth _closed_ even if both of the inhale it. And he has no patience at all, for time, people, or new ideas._

'Damn, can't deny that.' Harry saw Alice pacing in and out of his view. He dug through the kit ignoring Alice's ranting. 'Cool' He thought pulling out a book, a manual to be percise.

That reminded Harry about the booksAlicehad brought.

"Mirror, Mirror, In My Mind" a book on Occulumency, the art of protecting the Mind. Harry read the forward.

It started. _Occulumency is a way to protect the contents of one's mind. Most use a fortress to guard their mind. Some, like myself, take a different approach to it. Instead of a large fortress, which can be broken easily if one knows how, I use a maze of mirrors. The daughter of a friend uses a forest made of mirrors even the guardians of the forest, the snakes, dragons, cats, and even the humanoids all seem to be made of mirror or mirror like substance._

_In this book I will describe how to do this. Using Occulumency this way makes it only as strong as how twisted you can make your maze._

'Strange.' He thought. "Alice in Wonderland" Harry read the title of the next book.

_Reading that is the first step to coming to Wonderland yourself._ Alice said._ That's what took me so long. The Mad Hatter had moved it._

"Kawarimi, Bunshin, Henge and Other Useful Jutsu" Harry was confused.

_A different kind of magic. One most people here wouldn't have a defense against._Alice said.

The fourth one was an interesting one. "Creatures, Light and Dark"

_That one is a bestiary, all types of creatures. Not just the ones humans know._Alice said.

"Huh." Harry said before yawning. "Bedtime." He said walking over.

**_10 am July 31', 1993_**

Harry was weeding the garden when Aunt Marge arrived. As large as her brother, though as she raised dogs, it was more muscle than fat, Aunt Marge easily took up the passenger seat in the Dursley's large luxury car. What scared Harry about the arrival was the bulldog that came with her. Ripper. Ripper was a mean old thing that hated Harry with a vengence. Why, Harry had no idea. More than likely he was just mimicking his owner.

'Evil dog.' Harry thought.

_What's evil?_Alice said sleepily.

'Ripper' Harry replied.

_Act like you can beat it. Pure dominance._ Alice Yawned and seemed to go back to sleep.

'Act li-' Harry mentally stuttered. 'ALICE!'

"Boy! Get her stuff and take it to the Guest Room!" Vernon said harshly, Harry quickly obeyed, brushing the dirt off of his pants.

**_7 pm July 31st, 1993_**

"Why are you home boy?" Marge asked after dinner. "One would think they'd be able to keep you there."

"They said I needed some time at home." Harry said. "Some time in a different environment. Away from cats."

Marge blink. "Away from cats?" She asked for clarification

He said with a smile. "Something about setting the Caretaker's cat on fire, dropping my rival's cat off the highest tower, and using a dead one to ring a gong."

Marge stared at him in horror.

"BOY! Got to your room!"Vernonsaid equally disturbed more so that the boy seemed to make it up on the fly.

**_12 pm August 1st, 1993_**

"Hello, Ripper" Harry said, for the first time Marge had left Ripper alone. "How about we lay some ground rules." The dog went still. "I don't bother you, you don't bother me. Deal?"

Ripper seemed to agree by starting to ignore the young wizard.

**_5 pm August 2nd, 1993_**

Sirius Black was on the Telly again. He had been spotted just south-east of London. Aunt Marge started to insult Harry but stopped when he smiled sweetly. 'This is so much fun.' He thought.

_Told you it would be. _Alice said.

**_2 pm August 3rd, 1993_**

Harry hummed that entire day, occasionally singing very bloody and dark lyrics. Currently he was humming "Yankee Doodle" "Yankee Doodle went to town, just eat a pony, put it in a pot and called it Macaroni." Marge heard and stared.

**_4 pm August 3rd, 1993_**

Harry was now humming "Deck the Halls" Completely out of season, but hey, he was supposed to be insane. "Deck the Halls, with lots of carnage." He made sure only to sing when near Aunt Marge.

**_5 pm August 3rd, 1993_**

Now Harry was whispering low to himself, occasionally and walked away not wanting to disturb Harry from his "fun".

**_10 am August 4th, 1993_**

Harry was now bouncing off the walls… As was Dudley, with the promise of candy. Literally. The pair had somehow found a way to bounce off the wall. How they did it will never be explained. **(In otherwords Tamesis and I are too lazy to think of a way…**_ Let's just say Alice did some magic_**)**

**_8pm August 5th, 1993_**

Harry acted completely normal for the entire day until bedtime when, once in his room, he started to laugh insanely.

**_6:30pm August 6th, 1993_**

'I am going to kill her.' Harry thought.

_Harry, killing a person is a bad thing to do. Like go to prison bad. _Alice had been keeping her container calm for the past few days.

Thankfully, Ripper wasn't acting like Harry was an omega anymore. More like a beta. One that could easily overtake him for position of alpha.

'I know, but she keeps insulting my parents.' Harry thought, going through the exercises in "Mirror, Mirror, In My Mind." _"Relax and focus on one thing. Make sure that it is something that calms you. If it is a thing that angers you there is no point to this exercise."_ It was good for calming him down.

"So boy, how do the discipline at St. Brutus's?" Marge asked.

"Cleaning the toilets, being hung from the ceiling, normal beatings, beatings with whips, chains, and belts…" Harry rattled off various things he had being thinking of. "Some of the students like that, though. Special punishments are reserved for them."

"What kind of "Special Punishments"?" She asked.

"Hmm? Oh, the SPs, yes. Being forced to listen to "It's a Small World After All" in all the languages and high pitched, forced to watch Barney's ImaginationIsland, and watching Teletubbies." Marge looked at him in Horror. "I go for the normal Punishments." He smiled. **(think Sai's smile from Naruto)**

**_7:30pm August 7th, 1993_**

'Killing is bad, killing is bad, killing is bad.' That had become his mantra for the last day. Since she was leaving at 8pm Marge decided to pay Harry back for his behavior. It wasn't until Marge called his Headmaster a moronic poof, did Harry snap. Albus Dumbledore maybe a poof but a moron he is not!

"Don't called Headmaster Dumbledore that!" Harry yelled.

"Listen you little brat, I have had enough of your behavior this week!" Marge seemed to puff up in rage, and continue to puff up until she seemed to be a balloon. Harry and the Dursley's were to first.

"Put her back!" He said.

"No!" Harry replied. "She deserved it!" Harry went up to his room. "I'm leaving for the year!"

"Fine, live on the streets!"Vernon yelled. As Harry dragged his trunk into the street.

**_15 minutes later._**

_That wasn't the most thought out plan I've seen._ Alice said, as Harry sat heavily on his trunk breathing hard. _Now what?_

"Go to London and the Leaky Cauldron." Harry said.

_How should we do that?_ Alice asked.

"I have no clue." He said before stiffening as he felt someone behind him. He spun around whispering "Lumos." He looked into the shadows and saw what looked to be a large dog. Harry rose his hand to get a better look and... BAM! A large triple decker violently purple bus appeared scaring Harry.

_What the hell?_ Alice said.

*insert Stan's intro*

"What's your name?" He asked Harry.

"Lewis Carroll." Harry said using the first name that came to mind.

**_20 minutes of Law-of-Physics defying later_**

Harry gratefully got off the bus.

Alice whimpered, as she collapsed on to the street reflected in a nearby store window. _Never again, please never again._

Harry saw a strange man in a pinstripe suit. The Minister of Magic, he who had put Hagrid away for several months in the hell known as Azkaban.

"Ah, Harry Potter!" He said, ignoring the existence of personal space. "How are you tonight?"

_What the hell?_ Alice said from her position on the Mirror Street.

"'Arry Potter?" Stan said. "This is Lewis Carroll."

"Um... Who are you?" Harry played dumb.

"..." The man was stunned. "I am Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic." Harry merely gave him a blank looks. "I am the Magical Prime Minister."

"..." Harry continued to stare. "Are you the person that sent Hagrid to Azkaban?" He asked.

"..." Fudge was quiet. "Yes. I had to do something."

"Isn't there a way, like a potion or something, to get people to tell the truth?" Harry asked.

_He can't handle the truth!_ Alice said, Harry managed not to react.

"Well, yes, but..." Fudge trailed off.

"Then why didn't you use that?" Harry was incensed that Hagrid hadn't been even questioned, more so when Dumbledore was kicked out. "And you removed the only reason Hogwarts was considered the safest place in Briton!"

Fudge blustered. "Now see here."

"What'll happen to Aunt Marge." Harry asked throwing Fudge off by changing not only the subject but what seemed to be his feelings as well.

"She has been deflated and obliviated." Fudge said. "Of course you won't be going back this year." He finished.

"Good." Harry paused. "Where am I going to stay?"

"At the Leaky Cauldron, of course." Fudge said as though this was the most obvious thing in the world. "The Ministry will be paying for it."

Mentally Harry, and Alice in the reflective window, grinned. 'This is going to be awesome.' He thought. _Indeed._

"So you'll full pay for my bill?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Fudge said slightly confused but he brushed it off.

"Thank you, Minister." Harry said. He turned and followed Tom towards his temporary room.

_**Room 13**_

"Hedwig!" Harry said.

"Smart owl you got there" Tom said. "Got here a few minutes after you did."

"Thank you." Harry said turning.

"Go to sleep. You look like you need it." The inn keeper said as he left.

"It's been a weird night, Hedwig." Harry said as he went to bed.

_Okay, Long Chapter for me. _

**Yeah, 20-odd chapters on paper, 8 on computer.**

_7 more reviews before chapter 5 'kay?_

**Seriously. We don't care if it's a long detailed review or a "THIS STORY SUCKS!1!1" kind of review.**

_So, 7 reviews=Chapter 5! 10 reviews total._

**We're doing this for all of our stories, btw.**


	5. New Clothes, New Books, New Job

_**Through the Looking Glass Chapter 5**_

**Yay! 10 reviews!**

_Therefore you lot get a chapter!_

_**Chapter 5 New Books, New Clothes, New Job**_

_**Leaky Cauldron 11 A.M. 8/8/1993**_

Harry and Alice woke shortly before 10 a.m. the next day; they went down and had a large breakfast.

'So, we go set up a muggle bank account, with the ability for checks and credit/debit card, muggle clothes, check with Ollivander about secondary wand, get wizard clothes, get books, and…'

_Study the Jutsu book._Alice said.

'And study.' Harry finished. 'So which first?'

_Gringotts._Alice said with finality.

_**Gringotts Bank 10:30 A.M.**_

Harry entered the bank and looked around. He saw a free teller and walked up. "Excuse me, I'd like to set up a muggle bank account."

The goblin looked at him disdainfully. "We are not a _muggle_ bank." It spit the word out like it was little more than infected slime.

"The perhaps I should withdraw my money and find one in the muggle world." Harry said running his fingers back through his hair, showing his scar. "The wearing world hasn't really proven itself all that good since I got here anyways." He said seemingly dismissing the goblin.

"Wait." It said quietly. "You are a very… _Valued_ customer, Mr. Potter. It is highly irregular for us to service people in the muggle world. Namely due to the current views on muggle-burns and their parents."

"I understand." Harry said. "Sort of. I understand most of your more, _valuable_ customers are rather biased against them. Such a pity, Muggles are so imaginative."

The goblin said "We do have several options for connected bank accounts. We do allow accounts under multiple names for… Back up plans." It finished.

"Precisely." Harry said. "Where do I go to get one of these… Back up accounts?"

"Follow me, Mr. Potter." The Goblin said getting down.

Harry followed the goblin, trusting its greed.

_**11:30 A.M. Leaky Cauldron**_

Harry now had a muggle bank account under the name of Lewis Carroll.

'And now for muggle clothes.' Harry thought. 'Where to go.'

_Thrift store._ Alice whispered from the mirror behind the bar. _Despite the cheapness, one can find some very good quality._

'Alright.' Harry said slipping out of the bar. He walked up to a police man and asked. "Can you tell me where the closest thrift store is?"

"Hmm? A thrift store?" The police man said tapping his lower lip. "Two blocks down that way on the other side of the street, I believe." He pointed the right direction.

"Thanks!" Harry said.

"Wait, boy, Where are your parents?" The man of the law asked Harry.

"They're dead, sir." Harry said, deciding that it couldn't hurt.

"How old are you?" The police man asked guessing 10 years old.

"I turned 13 a week ago." Harry said, mentally weeping. 'Damn the Dursleys and their neglect.'

"13? You barely look 11." He was surprised.

"I know." Harry said. "My… Caretakers do not like me very much."

"Hmm." The Police man (Let's call him Bob) said.

"I'm currently staying with some friends though, and in September I'll be going to a boarding school inScotland." Harry explained.

"You only stay with them in the summer?" Officer Bob asked.

"Yeah." Harry explained as they walked down the street. "My school lets me stay during Christmas, so I don't have to deal with them for very long only a few weeks at most."

"Hmmm…" Officer Bob showed Harry to the Thrift Store he knew of. "Here you go, boy, perhaps you will be great someday." Officer Bob smiled at the Boy-Who-Lived, who returned it.

_**12 P.M. Random Thrift Store in London**_

"Whoa." Harry said as he entered the thrift store.

_You'll need to get underwear elsewhere though._Alice said from the reflective window.

'Right. First some everyday clothes.' Harry thought walking over to the pants' rack.

_Jeans, Khakis, Sweatpants…_Alice said to the boy.

'How do you know about sweatpants?' Harry asked. 'The last time you were out in the world, _cars_ were just starting out.'

_Where ever there is a mirror I can see._ Alice said. _That is not always a good thing. But I do now know a great deal about fashion, or at least what people_say_is fashionable._

'Hmm.' Harry thought. 'Khakis first.' He walked over to the Khaki section.

_**12:30 P.M. Random Thrift Store.**_

Harry walked out of the thrift store. He was now dressed in nice clothes for the first time in over ten years. 'Feels nice.' He thought.

_Indeed, clothes do make the man._Alice was nearly drooling over him.

'Weird.' Harry thought. 'Off to the name brand store for underwear, socks, and shoes!'

_ONWARD! TO ADVENTURE!_Alice said pointing the way.

'Right.' Harry went to the building that housed Harrods's.

_**12:45 P.M. Harrods's**_

'Wow.' Harry had never been in Harrods's, and so had been taken completely off guard. 'This place is big.'

_Indeed._Alice agreed.

"Excuse me, miss." Harry went over to an employee. "Can you show me where the underwear section is?"

"Sure, follow me." She said. 'He's cute.' She thought.

"Thanks." Harry said, ignoringAlice's fuming.

Harry looked through the selection offered and picked out several packs of both underwear and socks.

After a great deal of browsing, Harry made his way to the register.

All in all, Harry had got 3 packs of underwear, 5 pairs of socks (2 cotton, 2 wool, and 1 nylon), 2 pairs of tennis shoes, 1 pair of Dockers, and 1 pair of boots.

_**2:30 P.M. Leaky Cauldron**_

Harry was lucky, as usual, he was able to slip in with a group of muggleborns. No one had noticed Harry had slipped off into the muggle world for most of the day.

'Now, Ollivander and wizard stuff.' Harry thought.

'_I wonder if he'll notice me.'_Alice thought. She was pretty sure he would.

_**2:45 P.M. Ollivander's Wand Shop**_

"Mr. Ollivander?" Harry entered the dusty, slightly creepy wand shop.

"Hello Mr. Potter, is your wand giving you any trouble?" He asked in his odd slightly creepy way.

"No, I was wondering if I could get a second wand." Harry asked. "At the end of the last school year mine was taken away from me and nearly used to kill me."

"Ah." Ollivander said. "I'm afraid _I_ can't give or make you a new wand, but I can tell you of others who make and sell wands." The old man said.

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Because of the law?"

"Yes." Ollivander replied. "You can go to the Holly and the Ivy, they make tailored wands."

"Tailored wands?" Harry asked.

"Wands that are truly tuned to the wizard. The wizard chooses the wood, core, even decorations, if there are any." Ollivander clarified.

"Ah." Harry said. "Where is it?"

_**3:00 P.M. The Holly and the Ivy**_

"Hello?" Harry called out. Ollivander had told him both where it was and what to expect, but it was still creepy.

"Yeeesss?" Harry jumped a foot in the air and spun to face a pale thin woman. "You're Lily's boy aren't you?"

"What?" Harry was confused.

"Your mother was Lily Potter." It was a statement more than a question. "You have her eyes, and from what I heard, her temper." The woman grinned.

"You knew my mother?" Harry gazing at the woman as if she recognized her.

"Indeed, she worked her for a year or so before she went to be an unspeakable." The woman said. "Such a pity she died." She looked somewhat upset.

_Who are you?_Alice said.

"Hmm?" The woman stopped her chatter. "How rude of me, my name is Rose Estraz, I'm the owner of the Holly and the Ivy."

Both Harry and Alice had trouble believing that.

"Really, I am." She seemed upset that he didn't believe her

"She really is the owner." A man came out from the back of the store. "She's just had a lot of sugar today."

"And you are?" Harry asked.

"My name is Miza Estraz and Rose is my older sister, hence why I know that the store belongs to her, though I do have some influence." He was a little smug until a small bolt of lightning hit him.

"Watch it, little brother." Rose said. "So, why do we have the honor of having Harry Potter in our shop?"

"Uhh…" Harry was stunned at the bipolarness of the woman. "Ollivander said I could get a second wand from here."

"Back up or replacement?" Rose said.

"Back up. My friend's wand was used against us last year." Harry said. "What?"

"Besides having it as a last defense will you use it day-to-day?" Rose said.

"Like following in your father's footsteps?" Miza asked now draped upside down over the counter.

"Following in my fa-" Harry was confused. "What do you mean?"

"James Potter, along with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, were some of the greatest pranking minds to go to Hogwarts." Miza said.

"Sirius Black? As in the guy who recently escaped Azkaban Prison, Voldemort'sri-"

"Sirius Black was never one of Voldemort's followers." Rose cut in. "Not only did Sirius Black disagree with the thinking, but also how they were doing it."

"You knew him?" Harry asked.

"Yes, only for a few months, but I did." Rose said.

"Granted he could be a complete and utter arse, but over all Sirius Black was a good guy." Miza agreed.

"Anyways, you came for a wand?" Rose said neatly diverting the conversation off of the supposed traitor.

"Yeah." Harry said. "Can you make me one? Ollivander said your are tailor made."

"Indeed they are. We make them in the back of the store." Rose said. "Follow me."

"Alright." Harry followed the sugar-high woman into the back of the store which seemed to be on large room. Drawers lined the walls while dried herbs hung from the ceiling giving the entire room a sweet smell. "Wow."

"So most people say." Rose grinned. "Anyways, choose your core from the drawers then we'll get the wood."

_**15 minutes later**_

Harry walked over to the table that Rose was sitting at playing solitaire.

"These are the ones that really… called to me." He said.

"Curiouser and curiouser." She said. "Some who can both heal and use battle spells effectively."

"You can tell by the stuff I chose?" Harry asked.

"Yep." Rose chirped. "For example, the blue cat hair you chose is from a long haired Nekomarta, a demon cat with two tails. Nekomartas can actually raise the dead to an extent. The grass is known as Whistle-Grass, named so because it can whistle when the wind hits it right. The Red fur, now that is an interesting choice."

"One that got me two million ryo!" Miza said. "And than vixen said you wouldn't find anyone."

Rose sighed before continuing. "The red fur is from a nine tailed Kitsune, a fox demon, Kitsune are masters of deceit and illusion. The more tails a Kitsune has the more powerful. Nine is the most they can have." She paused as she looked at the final item. "That one has been here since I got this place. It was part of the deal that I take it along with the building."

"What is it?" Miza asked walking over.

"Angel Thread." Miza's eyes grew round as he whistled low.

"I didn't know you had that."

"Actually I forgot about it." Rose said scratching her head. "Anyways that is the ultimate healing boost. From what I've heard of you and your having Alice Liddel stalking you, you'll get a battle wood."

_I am NOT stalking him! _Alice yelled.

"Where are the woods?" Harry asked he now handled the Angel Thread with upmost care.

"It's not going to break easily." Rose said. "Follow me." She left the room through a side door.

Harry quickly followed. Somehow the side door was a portal to a large wood. "Take your time on this part. We're outside of time. One hour here is only a minute there." She explained as she settled down at a picnic table.

_**3 hours later**_

It had only taken three hours but he had finally found the tree that seemed to call to him. A strange holly like tree, it had all of the physical attributes of holly but it seemed to be made of silver marbled with gold, copper, and jet. It had dropped a small branch onto him, but even without the cores, it felt like his holly/phoenix tail wand.

'Whoa.' Harry thought as he made his way back.

_Pretty. _Alice said.

"You have a physical form." Harry was stunned.

"For now she does." Rose said. "She correct, Mirage Holly is pretty."

"Mirage Holly?" Harry asked.

"Yes, Mirage Holly." Rose said. "Not quite sure how it came into existence. It's said to be able to change a person's dreams, both the ones that drive a person and the ones you while you sleep."

_Amazing._ Alice said looking at the wood.

"You will never have a quiet life if you accept this wand." Rose warned. "You'll always be in the center of stuff. Accept this wand and all chance at normalcy is out the window."

Harry paused, he hated being the center of attention. "I need it." He said at last. "I need the power to protect the people I care about."

The storekeeper smirked. "Good." She said.

_What?_ Alice was confused.

"I rarely give people a chance back here." She explained. "Only the pure of heart can survive back here for long."

"So you were testing me?" Harry asked.

"The trees here don't allow those who want power purely for themselves, only if they want to use it to protect others." Rose said. "The Mirage Holly is the… purest… I guess of all the trees."

_So Harry's truly one of a kind._ Alice asked.

"You sound surprised." Rose said. "You get it from your mother. While everyone was celebrating Voldemort's downfall, me and my family were mourning the price. Your mother was one of the most brilliant and beautiful people I've ever known." Rose grinned. "But, by God, get her temper up and your pride will be dead and buried. Follow me; your wand will be made in the next room."

"I wish I knew them." Harry said. "Either of them."

"They were good people." Rose said. "Your father was a spoiled arse though."

"Why?" Harry said.

"James Potter was a late born child, his parents were a year or two away from adopting, as such he was pampered far too much. Your mother was the first to say no to him, she was also the one to get him off his high horse." She led him through another door.

Harry chuckled. "Really?"

"Yes. Here it is." She stopped before a strange machine. "Put the materials into the label slots and wait at the end."

"That's it?" Harry said.

"It'll take a few moments, but yes, that's it." Rose said.

_Really? That sounds too simple._ Alice chimed in.

"Sometimes it is that simple. You have to do it though." Rose said.

"Alright." Harry put the materials in the correct slots. The machine rocked to life.

**_10 minutes later_**

With a clatter Harry's new wand fell out a slot and into Harry's waiting hands. It was a work of art. The shaft was silver streaked with gold, copper, jet, and fox fur red.

_Beautiful._ Alice whispered in awe.

"Extremely so." Rose said.

"How much?" Harry said.

"Six Galleons, six sickles, and six knuts." She said.

"666?" Harry asked.

The woman merely grinned.

"Alright." Harry got out the correct amount, waved good bye, and left.

**_20 minutes Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions_**

Harry walked into Madame Malkin's tired from everything he had done today.

_Not much more Harry._ Alice said. _Dress robes and new school robes._

'Almost there.' He thought.

"Hello, what are you looking for today?" a cheerful woman said.

"Hogwarts robes, and some dress robes." Harry said.

"Very well, Follow me and I'll get you measured up." She said.

**_30 minutes later Leaky Cauldron._**

Harry got three sets of black robes for day-to-day wear, and a emerald green dress robe, cut to show off his figure.

'This is good.' He thought as he ate the medium rare steak, might as well milk the Ministry for all it's worth.

_Next up books._ Alice said.

'Can't it wait until tomorrow?' he mentally whined.

_It could, but why should it wait?_ Alice asked.

'I'm tired, I've been on my feet all day long!' He complained.

_Fine. We'll do books and other stuff tomorrow._ Alice conceded.

Harry sighed. 'First thing in the morning, alright?'

_Fine._ She then seemed to proceed to ignore him.

Harry shook his head, ate his dinner, and went to bed.

**_Leaky Cauldron Room 13_**

Harry flopped down on the bed. He pulled out "Kawarimi, Henge, Bunshin, and other Useful Jutsu."

Harry groaned. "Alrighty then. Back to work on the Bunshin."

"Bunshin!" Harry said causing a deformed, dead looking, colorless him appear beside him. The other him poofed away. Harry sighed. "Damn."

Harry heard a clatter, he looked towards the noise and saw a scroll with strange writing on it. "I can't read it."

_Try again._ Alice was very short with him, she waved her hand at the scroll, the writing became English.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu?" Harry said.

_Requires more Chakra, but less control that the one you're having trouble with._ Alice said.

"Right. Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!" Harry said. A perfect copy of him appeared beside him. Harry poked him and found his Bunshin to be solid. "Cool."

_Moving on to the Kawarimi._ Alice said.

"Tomorrow. It's getting too late to anything else." Harry said putting everything up. "In the morning." Harry fell deep asleep.

**_9:30 A.M. 8/9/1993 Room 13 Leaky Cauldron_**

"Time to go get books!" Harry said getting dressed.

_Yes!_ Alice said.

**_10 A.M. Florish and Blotts_**

"Excuse me." Harry tried to get the assistant's attention, which was constantly diverted due to the Monster Book of Monsters. "Hey!" Harry was getting annoyed.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I'll be with you in a minute."

"Stroke the spine and it'll go flat like a normal book." Harry pointed out.

"Prove it!" The assistant said, Harry did so. Two minutes later Harry had a flat Monster Book of Monsters in his hand. The shop assistant stared. "How?"

"I guessed and it worked multiple times." Harry said.

"You have a copy already?" The Assistant asked.

"Got it from a friend on my Birthday." Harry said. "I have other books I need."

*Insert book 3 booklist*

"Ah, very well." The assistant got Harry's books, Harry paid for them.

"If you could come back later, I'll talk to the owner you'll get something for helping us cut down on injuries." The Assistant smiled.

"Alright." Harry said.

**_3 hours later_**

"So you're the boy who told us how to keep the MBoMs calm?" Mr. Florish asked.

"MBoM?" Harry asked.

"Monster Book of Monsters." He clarified.

"Ah, yes." Harry said. "Yes I did."

"Would you like something to do this summer, Mr. Potter?" Mr. Blott continued.

"Work here?" Harry was stunned. "I'm old enough?"

"Yes, you are." Mr. Florish said.

"But do you want to work as Harry Potter?" Mr. Blott continued.

"Or do you want to work under another name?" Mr. Florish finished.

"I'd like to work here as Lewis Carroll." Harry said.

"Lewis Carroll?" Mr. Florish asked.

"Like the author of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass?" Mr. Blott was curious.

"Um. Yeah." Harry said. "Him."

"Very well." Mr. Florish said. "We'll have to set up an account under tha-"

"I already have an account under Lewis Carroll." Harry said. "I wanted one I could use in the Muggle world."

"Excellent idea." The Book store keepers said in slightly eerie unison.

"So, what will be my hours?" Harry asked.

"9 A.M. to Noon then from 1 P.M. to closing."

"Do I get an afternoon break?" Harry asked.

"Yes, one around 5 P.M." Mr. Blott added.

"That sounds great." _Indeed, working in a bookstore._ Alice was in dreamland.

"You'll start tomorrow." Mr. Florish declared.

"Very well." Harry said. "I'll be here at 8:30, is that good?"

"Yes, That'll be fine." Mr. Florish said.

**_11 A.M. _****_Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor_**

"Mmm…" Harry ate his banana split with relish. 'So good.' He was currently ignoring the Alice bouncing in the store front window.

_We're gonna work in a bookstore, we're gonna work in a bookstore!_ Alice continued to chatter and bounce.

"Excuse me." A blonde girl with large blue eyes asked. "Do you see the hyper black haired girl in the window?"

"Huh?" Harry said. "You're Luna, right? One of Ginny's friends."

"Indeed. Why do you have her lurking around you?" Luna Lovegood said.

"She adopted me after my first year." Harry explained.

_He rescued me._ Alice glomped Harry's Mirror self. _He's my hero._

"Ah." Luna said.

"You can hear her?" Harry was surprised.

"Yes." Luna said.

_She's a wonderland child._ Alice explained without explaining.

"A wonderland child?" Luna asked.

_Or changeling, depending on which you want to hear._ Alice shrugged.

"Oh." Luna said.

"Luna!" Her father called.

"See you later!" She said as she ran off to her father.

"Bye." Harry said. "Well, done with that." He got up and walked off.

_Train with Kawarimi for the rest of the day._ Alice said.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah.' Harry thought as he wandered back to the Leaky Cauldron.

**_2 P.M. Room 13 Leaky Cauldron_**

"Kawarimi!" Harry was replaced with a log. "Yes!"

_Now with other objects._ Alice said. Harry groaned.

**_4 P.M. Room 13 Leaky Cauldron_**

"Kawarimi!" Harry practiced switching with various objects. "Kawarimi: MBoM!" Harry found that naming the object helped him switch with it, and that non-animate objects were much easier.

**_6 P.M. Leaky Cauldron Dining Room_**

Harry ate heartily. The amount of energy he spent that afternoon training the Kawarimi was immense.

**_7 P.M. Room 13 Leaky Cauldron_**

Now with a full stomach Harry collapsed on his bed and fell asleep before his head hit the pillow.

_Yesss… Luna Lovegood makes her debut!_

**Luna is awesome. Anyways, Harry got some new clothes, a new wand, some new books, and a job at Florish and Blotts.**

_Next time we reunite with the rest of the Trio. It'll be out in at **least** a week. 'Kay?_

**Yeah. Wrote this in less than two days. So next Sunday or so.**

_We may do a separate story thingy with Omakes, Like Each day mentioned in Chapter 4._

**Rose and Miza are a pair of OLD OCs… Literally. Both of them are pretty much immortal due to selling of their souls, and are over 1,000 years old each… They probably won't be back. Rose may be in passing. **

_Rose Estraz was our first Harry Potter OC. Her daughter may make an appearance. She has in 101 Ways to Annoy People._

**Longest Chapter for any of our stories.**

_Also Kawarimi, Bunshin, Kage Bunshin, and Henge All belong to Kishimoto and Viz Media._

**Harry, Florish, Blott, Luna, Tom, the Leaky Cauldron, Gringotts, the Goblin, and Diagon Alley as a whole all belong to J.K. Rowling **

_Alice Liddel belongs to American McGee and Spicy Horse_

**Alice and Wonderland and Lewis Carroll all belong to Lewis Carroll as well.**

_Rose Estraz, Miza Estraz, The Holly and the Ivy, Mirage Holly, and Angel Thread belong to Me and Tamesis._


	6. Books Sales and Bookwyrms

**_Through the Looking Glass 6_**

**_Books Sales and Bookwyrms_**

'**Wazup?**

_Indeed. Chapter 6. Simple as that._

**Disclaimers at the end.**

**_8/31/1993 Florish and Blotts_**

"Oi! Lewis!" Michael the book store clerk yelled to his younger co-worker. "Could you bring some more MBoMs from the back?"

Harry had asked to be called Lewis Carroll so the store wouldn't get swamped with people wanting a look at Harry Potter. "Sure, give me a moment." He said marking his place in Through the Looking Glass, by the real Lewis Carroll, that looked very similar to the copy ofAlicein Wonderland thatAlicehad given him.

He had also read Kawarimi, Henge, Bunshin, and other Useful Jutsu, and while he had mastered Kawarimi and Henge, the Bunshin No Jutsu was still beyond him.

"Why do you need the clamps if you can keep them calm?" A familiar voice said.

"We need the clamps because they become wild and try to bite people after awhile." Michael tried to explain to Ronald Weasley. Michael then saw Harry. "Lewis! If you could help the girl, that would be fantastic."

"Alright, this way, miss." Harry was slightly disappointed that Ron hadn't recognized him.

"It's good to see you, Harry." Hermoine said hugging him.

"Nice to see you too, 'Moine." Harry said. "Call me Lewis for now."

"Why?" Hermoine was confused.

"I got this job because I figured out how to calm the Monster Book of Monsters." Harry started to explain. "Mr. Florish said he didn't want this place packed just so people can see Harry Potter, so, I chose the name Lewis Carroll."

"Like the author?" Hermoine had read, but not really liked,Alicein Wonderland.

"Yes, I found a copy ofAlicein Wonderland this summer and I've enjoyed it. I'm supposed to get off in a few, want to grab lunch? My treat?"

"Sounds good. As long as we can ditch Ron, he's been horrendous lately" Hermoine said.

"I noticed."

"Lewis! You done yet?" Michael yelled back.

"Yep!" Harry said. "I already got your books together." He said pulling them out. Harry led Hermoine to the front.

"That'll be four galleons." Michael told Ron who staunchly complained at the price of the books.

"It's mostly the Monster Book of Monsters." Harry said. "They're expensive to buy and difficult to handle."

"It doesn't look all that difficult." He said snidely. "I've never seen you here before."

"I started just last week." Harry said. "I must also ask that you be polite to us."

"Humph" Ron said. "With such service why should I?"

"There is an old muggle saying, treat others the way you would have them treat you." Michael said "Words I live by."

"So?" Ron said.

"What he means is if you want people to treat you well, it is much more likely if you treat them well." Harry said. "Be nice to people and they'll be nice to you. On the same note, be mean to people and they'll be mean to you." Harry tried to explain, a great deal of emphasis on _tried_

"The Malfoys treat people badly." Ron started.

"The Malfoys know when to be polite." Michael said.

"And they have a great deal of money." Harry continued. "Money can play a very big role in who you're nice too."

"Fame as well." Ginny said as she walked in. "Mum's wondering what's taking so long."

"Michael and I were trying to explain why he should be a little more polite to people." Harry said.

"Don't bother." Ginny said. "Ron never has, and I doubt he ever _will_ have manners." Ron stalked off at this comment.

'Sadly that's true.' Harry thought.

_Told you so_Alice chimed in.

"Hey, Harry." Ginny said once her brother left. "Didn't think you wanted Ron to know you were here."

"Nope, I didn't." Harry said. "I didn't think he would behave that badly without me around. Anyways, wanna go for some lunch?" The complete 180 of tone threw both girls for a loop.

"Why?" Ginny said. "We haven't contacted you all summer. I didn't even give you a gift."

"I've been here for the past two weeks and I didn't tell you." Harry told his top fangirl and best friend.

"Oh. Fine, where are we going to go eat at?" Ginny said.

"My parents gave me some money so I could go get a birthday present for myself." Hermoine said. "I was thinking of getting a pet."

"I know a good pet store." Harry said. "We can go there after lunch." Harry was pretty sure what she would get there. "But first food!"

**_10 AM Rokubi's Asian Bar and Grill _**

"You like Asian food, Harry?" Ginny asked.

"Now I do, it's cheap, filling, and yummy." Harry replied.

"A bit spicy though." Hermoine said.

"That's what I like about it." Harry said after eating a steamed dumpling.

"I agree." Ginny said. "Do you think we can get Hogwarts to make these?"

"I'm sure we could." Hermoine agreed. "Just ask Headmaster Dumbledore." She had surprisingly ordered the deliciously spicy General Tso's Chicken.

"How much was this, Harry?" Ginny had chosen Orange Chicken for her meal along with steamed dumplings and egg rolls. "And where are the eggs in this roll?" She had gotten it think that she was getting some eggs, not a crunchy tube with mostly lettuce.

"It's in the roll covering." Harry said. "At least I think it is."

"Either way it's yummy." Ginny said. "Would you like to try it, Hermoine?"

"…" Hermoine thought for a moment before taking the roll Ginny offered. "Hmm!" A surprised yummy sound.

"Thought you'd like it, 'Moine." Harry said.

"You'll have to get the recipe for Hogwarts, Harry." Hermoine demanded.

"Already have." Harry said. "I'll ask Headmaster Dumbledore after we get there."

"Good." Ginny relied. "Why aren't you worried about Ron finding us here?"

"You think Ron would come here?" Harry said. "This is also on the part of Diagon Alley that kinda mixes with Muggle London."

"I didn't know that any part of the Magical world mixed with the Muggle world." Hermoine said.

"There are Muggleborns who refuse to give up the Muggle world completely." Harry said. "So they set up shop here, where they can enjoy both worlds. One side of their business is in the Wizarding world, the other side in the Muggle world."

"Amazing, I didn't think that they could do this." Hermoine said.

"As long as they keep the parts separate," Harry said, after a bite of fried rice. "They can do this."

"Aren't there an-" Hermoine paused as she saw a familiar shock of red. "Damn."

Harry looked at his friend and then in the direction she was looking in. "What the hell."

"You just had to say." Ginny glared at her hero.

"Who are you and why did you kidnap my sister?" Ron said to Harry.

"I'm the object of her affection." Harry said. "And I wanted to talk to her over food and drink."

"I thought you liked Potter?" His voice was cold.

Harry twitched. "I _am_ Harry Potter."

"Liar." Ron said. "Harry Potter would never work in a bookstore."

"People change." He replied. "We stole your parents flying car, which crashed into the Whomping Willow, Aragog said we could be eaten even though we were friends of Hagrid, and we were rescued by the flying car that we cashed." He challenged.

"Why did you say anything?" Ron demanded of Ginny.

"Why should I?" Ginny said. "He's your best friend."

"He was." Harry said. "The way you acted back there, and here, has made me rethink our friendship. I turned down Malfoy because he was an arse; you are acting the same way." The entire time Ron's face was slowly turning red with anger.

"SHUT UP!" He finally yelled, drawing the attention of nearly everyone there. "I am _not_ like Malfoy."

Harry sighed. "Want do you want?"

"I want my sister." Ron said. "Mum's wondering where _you_ went."

"I've been that long?" Ginny said looking at her watch. "We told her we were going for lunch, but I didn't think we'd be this long."

"What?" Ron said. "Come on. Both of you." He said to the girls.

"We were done anyways." Hermoine said.

"You're staying at the Leaky Cauldron?" Harry asked.

"Yes we are." Ginny answered.

"Harry said that he'd help me get a pet." Hermoine said. "So I'll be coming back with him."

"What?" Ron was furious.

"I'll have her back by 2 PM." Harry said. "Really, Ron, They're big girls, and I'm perfectly able to protect them." Harry got up and beckoned to his friend. "Come on. Much to do, little time, my fair lady."

"Fair?" Ron mocked. "She is hardly fai-" He was cut off by Harry knocking him off his feet with a wicked right hook.

"Hermoine is beautiful in her own right." Harry said. "Just because _your_ pathetic, narrow little mind can't see that doesn't mean it's not true."

_Careful, Harry, careful._Alice cautioned her boy.

Ron's eyes narrowed. "How dare you."

"Enough." A pale, thin man said. "If the pair of you must fight, please do so away from my place."

"I'm sorry, Utakata-san." Harry said bowing to the man.

"Don't worry, Lewis." He relied.

"Why do they call you Lewis?" Ron asked.

"Because, despite what you and Snape believe I don't like being swamped. Hence my change in appearance and name." Harry left the restaurant after paying. "I'll probably be back to have some dinner Utakata-san." He smiled at the owner.

"Why do you hate the spotlight?" Ron yelled.

"Because I was raised that I was worthless!" Harry responded. "I didn't know my own _name_ until I went to primary school!"

Ron was taken aback, by the time he had recovered; his friends and sister had blended in with the crowd.

**_12 PM Hizashi's Pet Store_**

Harry, Hermoine, and Ginny entered the strange pet store.

"Wow." Ginny said. "This place is awesome." She wandered around the shop.

Hermoine went over to the cat section.

"Welcome again, Harry Potter." Hizashi, the owner, said. "And ho are these lovely ladies?"

"The one over by the cats is Hermoine and the other is Ginny." Harry explained.

"Yes, friends you spoke of often." He replied.

"Sir?" Hermoine ha found what she wanted quickly. "How much is this one?"

"That one is 10 pounds." Hizashi gave the girl the Muggle amount.

"Two Galleons." Harry supplied at Hermione's blank look.

"What is it?" Ginny asked having come over to see what Hermoine had found.

"That is a Nekomarta." He said. I've taken to calling her Nekobaa."

"Nekobaa?" Hermoine said. "Cat granny?"

"That's one translation." Hizashi was amused.

The mention of Nekomarta rang a bell in Hermione's head. 'Nekomarta, nekomarta, nekomarta. Why does that sound so familiar?' She thought.

"A nekomarta is a magical cat." Hizashi explained. "According to Japanese lore, they can raise the dead and use them as puppets."

"Wha-what?" Ginny said, backing away.

"According to legend, little girl." He assured her. "That one couldn't raise a fly." He indicated Nekobaa. "Nekobaa is actually a halfbreed. A mix of Kneazle and Nekomarta."

"I didn't know they could interbreed." Hermoine said turning back to Nekobaa.

"Not quite sure how it worked." Hizashi declared, his sea green eyes sparkling. "But she was the only one to survive. Got her looks from her Nekomarta father, but all her powers came from her Kneazle mother."

"Does she need anything special?" Hermoine looked at Hizashi.

"What kind of powers?" Harry asked

"Nekobaa will be able to tell if someone is trustworthy or not, objects as well, enhanced senses (opposed to normal cats), but beyond that, I haven't seen anything." Hizashi told Harry. "And she won't need anything special. Well, no more than any other cat."

Hermoine paid for Nekobaa, while Ginny continued to look around.

"Wow." She said. "It's beautiful." Ginny was looking at an owl. Its feathers were jet black with white tips.

"Dusk Owl, Very unusual you two are." Hizashi said.

Ginny looked at Harry begging him.

"I'll buy it for her." Harry laughed. "And why not? I've made enough at work to get it."

"Her." Hizashi said. "Though she does not have a name yet."

"Hera." Ginny said. "Her name's Hera."

"Very well then." Hizashi said as Harry paid for his fangirl's pet.

**_1:30 PM Leaky Cauldron_**

"I told you that I'd have them back by 2 PM." Harry told Ron who merely glared. "And before you blow up, I got her the owl as a late birthday gift." He stormed off.

"You really didn't need to do that, Harry." Mrs. Weasley said.

"No, I didn't, but I wanted to." Harry said. "I have more than enough money, between what my parents left me and what I made this summer, well, Ginny's owl was hardly a bother..."

"But," Mrs. Weasley started.

"It was a gift." Harry continued. "Let it be."

"…" Mrs. Weasley paused, like most of her family she hated charity. "Very well, Ron won't take it well." She knew her youngest son to be petty and easily made jealous.

"I could make it worse and get you a new family owl." Harry offered smiling.

"No, thank you, Harry." Mr. Weasley said. "Errol is…"

"Old. If you want to I can give you the money." Harry finished.

"That would anger Ron even more." Percy said. "We don't like charity, you know that, but Ron, well Ron hates it."

"Very well." Harry said leaning back.

"Don't you have to be at work?" Ginny said, diverting her attention away from Hera.

"Nope, I'm off for the rest of the day." Harry chirped.

"Nice," Fred.

"So what is there to do around here?" George asked.

"There's actually a few museums here, a library (It's got _all_ kinds of books, every kind from kid's books to books that tell you how something works, to complex manuals that I don't really know what they're saying.)" Hermione's ears perked up at the word 'library'.

There's even an arcade where they have games you can play, Simulation Quidditch (Best broom ever), Air Hockey, Pinball, all kinds of games."

"An arcade?" Hermoine said. "I didn't think that…" She trailed off.

"Same area as we ate." Harry said.

"Oh." Hermoine said.

"Where did you three go eat? Ron wouldn't say." Mrs. Weasley asked.

"We went to an Asian place." Ginny said. "It was really good!"

"I've eaten there several times." Harry assured the older woman. "Utakata-san hasn't gotten anyone sick since before he started ten years ago."

"That's good." She said after several minutes.

"Why don't we go sit down?" Harry offered. "And you lot can tell me about your vacation."

The red haired family agreed that sounded like fun.

**_5:00 pm Leaky Cauldron_**

"Really?" Harry was stunned that his mother would've done that. Somehow the conversation had turned fromEgypt1993 toLondon1978.

"Yes, just went out and cursed the woman." Mr. Weasley said. "Not sure why, though."

"And judging by the look on the woman's face, she had no idea why either." His wife laughed, their children were entrance as much as Harry was.

**_7:00 PM Leaky Cauldron._**

After a very satisfying meal, courtesy of the Ministry of Magic, the group settled down for the night.

Mrs. Weasley reminded them all that they should pack tonight opposed to rushing in the morning.

**_8:00 AM 9/1/1993 Leaky Cauldron_**

Naturally, Ron did not listen to his mother, and so was furiously packing, waking and kicking out his rule-oriented brother.

"He kicked me out." Percy complained to Harry who was eating a large breakfast.

"I'll have to check all of my stuff when we get to Hogwarts."

"Can't you use magic now?" Harry said.

"Ron won't let me spell his stuff." Percy said.

"Then spell your stuff, and leave Ron's stuff alone." Harry took a swallow of milk.

Percy merely stared at him. "I didn't think of that." He sighed. "I don't want to disturb him right now."

"Don't blame you." Harry said finishing his plate.

"You're milking the Ministry for all it's worth, aren't you?" Percy accused.

"Why not?" Harry said.

"How did you get into Gryffindor when you're such a Slytherin?" Percy asked.

"I met Malfoy, who went into Slytherin, and I heard Voldemort was in Slytherin, so, I begged the Hat to not put me into Slytherin House."

Percy stared at the Boy-Who-Lived.

**_10:45 AM Hogwarts' Express._**

Harry looked into the compartment and only saw a sleeping man.

"Anyone in there?" Hermoine asked.

"Nope, well, just one person, but he's sleeping." Harry said coming in.

"Are you sure he's sleeping?" Ginny asked.

"He's still breathing." Harry said. "Though he does look ill."

"Let's be quiet." Luna said.

"Sounds good." Harry said.

"His name's Professor R. J. Lupin." Hermoine said reading the label on the man's case.

"Really." Was Harry's response.

**_12:30 PM Hogwarts' Express_**

The door opened to reveal the Food Cart Lady, Harry bought enough sweets to last until dinner. He considered waking Lupin up.

"If he's hungry when he wakes, darling, I'll be up front with the driver." She said.

**_1 PM Hogwarts' Express._**

Once again the door opened this time showing a young black haired girl. "Hey, Lewis." She said.

"Elisha, your mother's allowing you to go?" Harry said. "And I'm going as Harry again."

"Pity. Lewis is so much cooler." She said. "But yeah, Mother's letting me."

"Who are you?" Hermoine asked.

"My name is Elisha Estraz, my mother works in Diagon Alley." Elisha finished.

"Really?" Ginny said. "Where?"

"At the Holly and the Ivy." Elisha said.

"Her mother owns the place actually." Harry said. "Your family are very odd people." He commented.

"Normality is boring." She said sitting next to the sleeping werewolf. "Mother said that they'll be searching the train for Black around 5."

"And you're telling us now?" Luna said.

"I couldn't find you guys." Elisha defended.

"Fine." Harry knew if he pushed Elisha would close up.

**_5 PM Hogwarts' Express._**

The group was playing Monopoly, explaining the game to Ginny and Luna had taken a while, but they were enjoying themselves.

The lights flickered, dimmed, and went off, and the temperature dropped like a stone. "Dementors." Elisha said faintly. "The infamous and damned guards of Azkaban Prison."

Harry faintly heard someone screaming.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to._Alice was whimpering in the mirror.

"Enough." A strong adult voice said. Lupin had woken up. "Stay where you are," He conjured a bright blue ball of flame which he held in his hand.

Harry saw that Luna was not taking this well. Elisha had obviously woken the man up. Werewolf or not, Lupin could probably protect them.

Lupin started towards the door but stopped as the door opened, the screaming got louder.

A strange floating hooded… thing… floated through.

Elisha started whispering, he couldn't quite make it out but the rhythm made it sound like a song or a prayer.

"None of us is hiding Sirius Black under are cloaks!" Harry heard Lupin distantly say in a strong voice, the screaming nearly drowned him out. High pitched laughter joined it. "Go!" A bright silver flash distracted Harry and drove the dementor away, as it left, the screaming and laughter faded. The room's temperature rose and the lights flickered back on.

"Are you alright?" Lupin asked the group. Elisha shook her head and buried it into her knees.

Ginny was shaking badly, Luna was as pale as a sheet, and Hermoine looked at the adult. "We'll be fine."

He reached into his case and brought out a large chocolate bar which he broke into multiple pieces with a loud snap.

"I'm allergic." Elisha said. "I get hives if I eat chocolate."

Lupin muttered a spell. "That better?" He asked.

"Thank you." she said unfolding her body.

Lupin gave each of the others chocolate in turn. "Eat that, It'll help. I have to go talk to the driver." He explained why he had to leave. "I'll be back soon." A reassuring smile.

"He's right, chocolate does help." Elisha said. "I'd just rather not get hives."

Harry bit into the chocolate and felt better at once.

**_5:30 PM Hogwarts' Express_**

Lupin came back and saw that his new students had eaten the chocolate he had given them. "We'll be coming to the station in a half an hour."

"Professor Lupin?" Hermoine asked. "Why weren't you affected?" She had noticed that he hadn't reacted.

"I was affected, I just didn't show it." Lupin said.

"Re-really?" Luna stuttered.

"Yes, I've dealt with them before." Lupin said.

"Can you stay with us for the rest of the ride?" Harry asked. He felt safer with Lupin there.

"I planned on it." Lupin said. "Perhaps you could deal me in?" He indicated the upturned board.

"Why don't Luna, Ginny, and I go get changed first." Elisha suggested.

"Yeah, since we're not all that far from school." Ginny added.

_**6 PM Hogsmead Train Station**_

The group disembarked, Elisha waved to the others and went over to Hagrid. "See ya there!" she said.

"Yes." Harry nodded. He turned and got into one of the horseless carriages that would take him to Hogwarts.

**_Hogwarts Schoolof Witchcraft and Wizardry_**

As usual Harry was amazed by the sight of Hogwarts, he finally felt at home.

"Granger!" Professor McGonagall called the girl aside. "Don't worry Potter, she isn't in any trouble."

After the Sorting Hat's song, its various sortings (Elisha went into Ravenclaw), and Dumbledore's warnings about the Dementors, dinner was finally served.

_**9 PM**_

"Now that we are all fed and watered," Dumbledore began, "It is time for us all to go to bed." They all followed the example set by the teachers.

GryffindorTower

Harry stretched and lay down; he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. It was good to be home.

_There Chapter 6 done. Next up, Harry's first few days of school. Story will be faster paced. Neville will be a major player, Ron… not so much._

**We don't like Ron. **

_Nope. Anyways, Disclaimer time!_

**Harry, Hermoine, Weasley's, Luna, Hogwarts' Express, Hogwarts, Hogsmead, Diagon Alley, Sirius Black, Professor Lupin, Dementors, Leaky Cauldron, Minsitry of Magic, Florish and Blotts, MBoM, Malfoys, anndd… Anything else from the HP universe that I missed all belongs to Warner Bros., J.K. Rowling, and Bloomingdale Publishing.**

_Kawarimi, Henge, Bunshin, Kage Bunshin, Utakata, Rokubi, Hizashi, and Nekobaa. All belong to Kishimoto-san…Well, Hizashi and Nekobaa in name only. Utakata is the container for the Rokubi. _

**Alice is American McGee's property, she also belongs to Lewis Carroll.**

_Elisha, Rose, the Holly and the Ivy, and the concept of a Muggle part of Diagon Alley is ours. _

**Reviews are loved.**

_Shots are not._

**Baby.**

_They do! I had to get a Flu Shot… And it switches between itching and hurt…_


	7. Classes, Changed Menu, and Boggarts

_**Through the Looking Glass 7**_

_**Classes, Stories, and Boggarts**_

**Or in which Harry asks about a change in menu, gets some stuff from Lupin, and learns some more stuff.**

_No Wonderland just yet. Chapter 9 or 13… Rolling a d20 for it. Even= 13 Odd= 9…And it is a 7! Chapter 9 will have Harry's first foray into Wonderland!_

**Pardon any missing L's, spaces… What else does this keyboard miss?**

_Spaces are missed on normal keyboards, pretty much just L's._

**Yeah. Pointing out misspellings does help.**

_Anyways, Summon Bloodline, not that you HP readers care about a Naruto/Final Fantasy fic, won't be updated until Through the Looking Glass catches up… In other words, two chapters of this then I'll post Summon Bloodline 9._

**And flipped flopped letters happens too!**

_**On with the show!**_

_**Through the Looking Glass Chapter 7: Classes, Stories, and Boggarts**_

_**9:30 AM 9/2/1993 Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Headmaster's Office**_

Harry looked around the room as he waited on the aging headmaster.

_He should retire._ Alice murmured. _He holds three positions of major power. I'd be amazed if he gets more that a few hours seep each night._

'Heads of Houses help him here.' Harry thought as he got up and went over to Fawkes. The bird had saved his life twice. "I wonder what he likes to eat." Harry said aloud.

"He loves berries, namely blueberries." Albus Dumbledore said surprising Harry.

"Headmaster!" Harry wondered how he had snuck up on him.

"You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Um, yeah." Harry said "This summer I stayed in Diagon Alley." Dumbledore nodded at this. "I found several places to eat that served foreign food, like Asian, and American."

"Hmm-mm." Dumbledore indicated for Harry to continue.

"I took Hermoine and Ginny to one of the Asian places to eat when we met and they really liked it and they asked me to ask you if you could get the workers here to make it, if I get the recipes."

"If you can get the recipes, I will try." Dumbledore said, surprised when Harry pulled a medium sized book out of his robes.

"There you go." Harry placed the book on the Headmaster's desk.

"You believed I would do it?" Dumbledore turned his gaze to the boy.

"Yes, sir, I did." Harry replied respectively.

"Very well, it'll be a few days before it will be served." Dumbledore smiled at Harry's grin.

"Thank you, sir." Harry said before standing and leaving.

_**10:30 AM Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry DADA Class Room**_

Everyone was eager to see what the new DADA was like, Harry in particular. Remus Lupin had a reputation among the darker part of Diagon Alley, one as a good man and a better teacher. If not for his Furry Problem, he would've been a very coveted tutor.

Not that anyone, bar Harry, in that class knew.

"Good morning, class." The shabby looking professor said. "You can put your books away; will be taking a field trip." He smiled.

The students looked at each other but did as the adult asked, because adults know all… NOT!

"Follow me." He left the room, the students followed like the obedient sheep they are. They came across Peeves who was putting a piece of chewing gum into a keyhole. He caught sight of Lupin. "Loony, Loopy, Lupin!" He sang. "Loony. Loopy, Lupin"

"Please take the gum out of the keyhole, Peeves." Lupin asked. "Otherwise Mr. Filch won't be able to get to his brooms."

He continued to sing, "Loony, Loopy, Lupin. Loony, Loopy, Lupin. Loony, Loopy, Lupin."

The students looked at the professor who was smiling slightly. "Watch, Wadiwasi!" The gum shot out of the keyhole with the speed and force of a bullet, straight up Peeves' left nostril. He sped off cursing. "Moving on." The werewolf was still smiling. The students began to truly like him.

They came to a room with many soft chairs and sofas, and a wardrobe. It had only one occupant, Professor Snape, the Potions Master. He was seated reading a copy of Potions Weekly, The dark haired man glared at Lupin, who seemed unaffected. Snape got up to leave; the wardrobe shuddered causing the students to worry. "Would you like to stay and watch, Severus?"

"No, I would not. Longbottom's wand causes mayhem wherever he goes." He sneered.

"Hmm. Actually I'd like for him to help me with the first part of the lesson." Lupin said calmly. Snape left.

"Don't worry all that is in the wardrobe is a boggart." Lupin said, as though to calm people down, the wizard raised seemed to become more worried. "Can anyone tell me what a boggart is?" he asked, Harry and Hermoine's hands went up. "Harry?"

"A boggart is a shape shifter that takes the form of your worst fear." Harry said.

"Very good." Lupin said. "Now, can anyone tell me what advantage we have over the boggart?" The wardrobe wobbled, Lupin hit it with a spell to stabilize it. This time he called on Hermoine.

"We have numbers." Hermoine said. "It won't know what to turn into."

"Excellent." Lupin smiled. "Now, the spell to repel a boggart is simple. The incantation is Riddikulus." Several smile at the word. "Say it."

"Riddikulus." The class said in a monotone voice.

"Now, the word alone won't do you any good." He started. "You must picture your worst fear as something amusing."

"What?" Ron asked. "What do you mean something amusing?"

Lupin looked at him. "One that can make you laugh, that is what can destroy a boggart."

"So laughter _can_ destroy?" Harry asked.

"Yes, it can." Lupin smiled.

"Huh." Harry became quiet again. He couldn't wait until class was over. He knew that Remus Lupin had been a friend of his parents.

"Neville?" Lupin indicated the boy to come forward. "Now what is your worst fear?"

Neville murmured something.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite get that." Lupin said, which was a lie, due to Lupin's super werewolf hearing

"Professor Snape." Neville said so that the rest of the class could hear.

"Ah." Lupin said. "Now, I believe you live with your grandmother?"

"I don't want it to turn into her either!" Neville exclaimed.

"No, no." Lupin said "Now what does she usually wear? A green dress, I believe?" Lupin prompted the timid boy.

"Ye-yes, and a pointed hat with a vulture on top." Neville said. "And a large red hand bag!"

"Excellent." Lupin smiled. "Now focus on that and cast the spell when I open the door." Lupin did immediately.

"Riddikulus!" Neville yelled as Professor Snape stepped out of the wardrobe. The boggart was blasted back as its clothes were changed into what Augusta Longbottom usually wore. The class laughed as the hand bag swung back and forth, the boggart looked for a new target.

"Lavender, your turn." The girl came up and changed her target, then Pavarti, then Ron who removed the legs off of a giant spider, Harry managed to slip in before Lupin could interfere, the room's temperature dropped quickly. "Riddikulus!" The Dementor fell apart to reveal a totem pole of garden gnomes. Several people snickered. Lupin in front of the boggart stepped before anyone else could face it and put it back into the wardrobe. "Very good, Harry. Most people wouldn't have been able to fight a boggart that turned into a Dementor." He paused and looked around. "Five points to every one who fought the boggart and Hermoine and ten to Harry for being able to face that. Class dismissed."

Everyone, bar Harry, left. "Professor Lupin?" Harry asked. "You were going to stop me from facing it." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, I was." Lupin replied, not bothering to lie. "I believed that your worst fear would be Voldemort, not a Dementor."

"Logical, but I only thought of Voldemort for a fraction of a moment before the Dementor came to mind." Harry looked into Lupin's eyes. "Also, when I was at Diagon Alley, I came across the Holly and the Ivy, I was told that you were one of my father's best friends."

"Yes I was." Lupin said.

"Do you think Black betrayed them?" Harry said. "Since he was my dad's best friend as well, you would know him."

Lupin looked at Harry for a moment. "Yes, I knew Sirius Black. I do not know whether or not he betrayed your parents." He said after a few moments.

"Perhaps I should rephrase that." Harry paused. "Knowing him as you did, would you believe, if you had left for the last few years of the War, would've believed people telling you that Black betrayed my parents?"

"…" Lupin thought for a moment. "No, I wouldn't have."

"If I find a way to check his innocence would you help me?" Harry asked.

Lupin stared at him. "You would help a conv-"

"Sirius Black never got a trial, therefore can't be a "convicted" criminal." Harry snapped.

"…" Lupin was quiet. "I'll help you. If you can find him." Lupin's eyes were dead. "Find Black and I'll help."

Harry grinned. "Thanks!" He left for his next class.

_**1 PM Potions Classroom**_

Potions class was hell. Snape had heard about Neville's boggart, as such was in a foul mood. Even the Slytherins were feeling his wrath, though so much less so than the Gryffindors.

_**3 PM Hallway Outside of Transfiguration Classroom**_

"We should tell McGonagall about Snape." Ron declared.

"What can she do about it?" Harry asked.

"She should be able to do _something_!" Ron replied.

"Snape's been this way for years, Ron." Harry said. "People have told her, and he's still here."

Ron glared. "I'm saying something. Even if you are too much of a coward too, Potter." He snapped.

The door opened. "And what as Professor Snape done this time?" Minerva McGonagall said. "Besides being cruel." She said more or less dismissing Ron's concerns.

Ron gulped, but said nothing.

"I will speak to him." McGonagall said. "Now in."

_**4 PM Library**_

"I can't believe she's just going to talk to him!" Ron seethed. "She's the Deputy Headmistress!"

"_Deputy_ not the actual Headmistress." Elisha pointed out. "She can't really do much. Firing teachers is one of the things she can't do."

"What?" Ron said. "And why are you three here?" He gestured to his sister and the two Ravenclaws. The Ravenclaw pair looked at each other.

"Studying." Elisha said in a dead pan voice. "Duh. Luna and I met Harry over break, and we got to know each other."

"And Harry saved me." Ginny said. "So the three of us has every right to be here."

"Ron, the company I keep is my choice, not yours." Harry said. "Elisha, Ginny, and Luna can stay."

"And me?" Neville spoke up.

"And you Neville." Harry was concerned that Neville would be that unconfident. "You're allowed to leave at anytime if you don't want to be here."

"You think you're so good, Potter!" Ron's voice rose. "Just because you managed to beat your boggart doesn't mean you're all powerful!"

"What's hi-?" Elisha started.

"Dementor." Hermoine said.

"Wow." Elisha said. She knew her boggart, not that she would ever admit that her worst fear was White Bunny Clowns with Bazookas.

"Ron." Harry started. "I _know_ I'm not all-powerful. Alright? I faced my fear, nothing more, the fact that my fear changed from Voldemor- Oh for God's sake! It's just a bloody name!" Harry said standing up. "A name!"

"Names can have power, Harry." Elisha said.

Ron smirked.

"Though most of the spells I know that need names usually only affect the person that has the name." Elisha continued causing Ron to scowl.

"You would know all about Dark Magic, wouldn't you?" Ron said.

"Dark Magic? The ones I know are _healing_ magic." Elisha said sitting up straight. "As in magic that usually makes people better?"

"There is no such thing!" Ron said. "Magic like that is Dark!" He yelled not noticing the Head Librarian behind him.

"Mother won't let me learn magic that is designed to harm people." Elisha narrowed her eyes. "Or at least ones that I wouldn't be able to find here."

"Liar." Ron said.

"Mr. Weasley, if you cannot keep quiet, then leave." Madame Pince said.

Ron glared at her before grabbing his things and storming out.

_He's going to be a problem_ Alice said.

"We should go to dinner." Elisha said.

"Yes, before Ron gets there and makes me lose my appetite." Ginny said.

_**7 PM Gryffindor Common Room**_

Harry groaned. 'Why won't he shut up?' Colin Creevey was chattering on, about nothing and everything at the same time.

_He's keeping Weasley away._ Alice pointed out.

"Hey Colin?" Harry said.

"Yes, Harry?" The boy said.

"Do you mind going away, I'm not feeling well." Harry said.

"Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?" Colin asked.

"No, I just need some rest, that's all." Harry said. "Long day."

"Sleep well, Harry!" Colin said.

"You too, Colin." Harry said going up to bed.

_Okay, we got _one_ review for last chapter._

**Why you guys no review!**

_Chapter 8 ain't coming until 8 more reviews…_


	8. Bothering Snape and a Grim Halloween

_**Through the Looking Glass 8**_

_**Bothering Snape and a Grim Halloween**_

**Yes, we hold the chapter hostage!**

_Indeed, we like reviews._

**There's, like, a **_**dozen**_** of you lot on the story alert list!**

_More than that. As of 9/29/2011 there are _26_ people keeping an eye on Through the Looking Glass._

**We even have anonymous reviews open. So review darn you all! Make it 20 reviews for a chapter and we'll include an Omake for the next chapter. First from Marge's visit then we'll take requests. Within reason.**

_No romance (in other words not het/slash/yaoi/yuri lemons/limes)._

**Not that we don't like that kind of thing. *Drools* Sirius/Remus full Moon fun.**

_Pervert. No additional crossovers (For crossover suggestions for actual story are welcome), no Mass murder of anyone. Skipping rest of September, and most of October. Bar a few snippets._

**Like we did during Marge's visit. Also, when it comes to Jutsu, eh, No Rasengan, Chidori, Mokuton, or any other 1-2 person Jutsus. Jutsus must be used by more than 5 people. **

_Rasengan's used by more than 5 people. Yondaime Hokage, Jiyaira, Kakashi, Naruto, Konohamaru Corps._

**STILL NO RASENGAN! **

_D: Why?_

… **Because.**

_Stupid reason._

**Shut up!**

_Anyways, on Elisha's boggart. I had a dream once while I was sick and that happened…I hate clowns._

**Yeah. Anyways, lots of sugar for breakfast is **_**not**_** a good idea. **

_Breakfast at 8:10, Sugar Crash at 10:00. 18733 words_

**Temparo mentioned that the boggart turned into a Dementor despite Alice being there. If it had caught sight of Alice it would've turned into a Jabberwoc instead of a Dementor. Only those with the Sight (Not future Sight but Changeling Sight) can see her if she doesn't wants it. 'Kay? She went to the back of the room once Harry said that boggarts take the form of your worst fear.**

**As usual…**

_**ON WITH THE SHOW!**_

_**Chapter 8**_

_**Bothering Snape, the Potions Master and a Grim Halloween**_

_**September 17, 1993 Great Hall**_

A beautiful brown owl came and rested on Hermione Granger's shoulder. She stared at it, then at the package in its claws. "Hoot." It held out the package. Hermoine took the package off, the owl left.

She opened the package and saw a book, one she had been looking for years. "Thanks Harry." He smiled.

_**September 29, 1993 Various Places**_

Snape was _not _having a good day. Every time he looked into a mirror he saw a pale black haired girl tackling him. His mirror self stumbled each time. He also heard the word "Bother" each and every time his mirror self was tackled.

_**October 31, 1993 Halloween Feast 7 PM**_

Halloween, All Hallows Eve, The Night of the Livi- No, no undead here. (At least not yet. :D) Also the day Voldemort was defeated. Yay. Also the night that Harry Potter was orphaned. *cry* and went up against a mountain troll and won *Triumphant Music*, found a petrified cat, (Yay! As it was Mrs. Norris.), and ran around trying to find a creepy voice in the walls.

Nothing has happened yet this year, but it isn't over yet!

'Maybe nothing will happen.' Harry thought.

_You jinxed it, Harry_ Alice said. _Still five hours to go._

'Hn.' Harry thought.

Everyone was enjoying themselves. Sugar was heavily included in the food of the 11-17 year old population. Various foreign desserts were included, including Twinkies, Pixie Stixs, Cupcakes, and Reese Cups. In short, there would be no classes the next day due to rampant sugar crashes overnight.

_**October 31, 1993 8:50 PM Outside Gryffindor Tower**_

"Damn it, woman!" A dark haired man said. "Let. Me. Through!"

"Not without the password." The Fat Lady said.

Sirius Black growled. _"_I don't have the time to deal with this! I have to get him!_"_ He yelled.

"I will not let you harm Harry Potter." She said.

"I don't want to harm Harry!" Black said. "I want Worm tail!"

A sound of people coming near was heard. A growl of rage, as he slashed the painting. Padfoot once again ran through Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

_**October 31, 1993 9 PM Outside Gryffindor Tower.**_

"Why isn't anyone going in?" Ginny asked.

"We can't get in." Fred said. "The Fat Lady's gone."

"Move aside." Percy said making his way through. "I'm Head Boy!" He stopped. "Someone go get McGonagall and Dumbledore!" He said once he saw the slash in the portrait's fabric.

_Told you so._ Alice whispered to Harry.

"What happened here?" Dumbledore asked Peeves who was floating around.

"She wouldn't let him in without the password." He said. "Nasty Temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

Horrified whispers spread through out the hallway. "Sirius Black?" "He's here?"

"He could still be in the castle." Dumbledore said. "Students go back to the Great Hall.

_**October 31 1993 10 PM Great Hall**_

"Good thing he attacked the Tower." Ron said. "I guess he's been on the run for so long he's lost track of the date."

"Hmm." Harry said. "From what I've heard I don't think so."

"What do you mean?" Ron looked at the other boy.

"I read some stuff in the Library." Harry started. "And he was one of the best in his year. And he was a top Auror."

"Auror?" Hermione asked.

"Wizarding Policeman." Harry explained. "If he was one of them I doubt he would lose track of time that easily."

Ron turned away and went to sleep.

"Do you think Black may not be after you?" Ginny asked Harry.

"He would've attacked me else where if he was." Harry said.

"If he was what you said, then he wouldn't attack on Halloween anyways." Neville said. "I mean, you would be down here. As powerful as they say he is, I doubt he could take on all of the teachers _and_ the headmaster."

"Hmm." Harry also lay down and pretended to go to sleep. Instead he was going through every place he could think Black would go.

_I'll check the mirrors._ Alice said. _Not that we can do much about right now._

'We can if we know how he got away.' Harry thought. 'Animagus?'

_Ani-what?_ Alice said.

'Like McGonagall.' Harry replied.

… _Yes, a Grim._ Alice said. _He heard the kids and finally lost his temper…_

'A Grim?' Harry thought of the dog on Mongolian Crescent.

_Think he could've followed you?_ Alice remembered as well.

'Maybe who or what he wants is here.'

_Can't be you. You would've already been hurt_ Alice said.

'Then who?' Harry felt Alice shrug.

_I don't know him. Send him something. Maybe with that house elf of yours._ She suggested.

Harry mentally groaned as he remembered how he had acquired Dobby.

_**August 17, 1993 Diagon Alley**_

Harry was sitting in his room staring at the panicking creature before him. Evidentially in a fit of rage, after hearing what Lucius had done, Narcissa had figured out that Lucius liked Dobby the most and had given him clothes, therefore freeing him. She also told him to go to Harry Potter.

"Dobby, calm down." Harry said in a soothing voice. "I'll take you as my house elf, but we will have some guidelines."

Dobby calmed down.

"First, you'll have decent clothes." Dobby's eyes widened. "I am not freeing you. Not unless you want it. I just don't think you deserve clothes like that." He indicated the pathetic pieces of clothe the house elf wore, though the set of lace underwear he was clutching was very nice indeed. "I'll have some made up for you. Think of it as a uniform. Second, no punishing yourself. I will decide your punishments."

"Harry Potter, sir." Dobby was stunned. He had thought that Harry would've sent him away.

"Third, at the moment I have very little for you to do." Harry said. "I do have a property that needs to be cleaned though." Which was true, Alice had found that her old home had been shifted over a bit. She was happy as this meant she and Harry did not have to keep their stuff completely in a trunk.

"Where is it, Harry Potter Sir?" Dobby said.

"Look into the mirror and you'll have a picture of the foyer." Harry said pointing to the mirror. It showed a decrepitude room, grey, dull, and dead. Dobby's eyes widened with joy.

"Thanks yous, Harry Potter sir!" He finished.

_**Same Time Malfoy Manor**_

"Damn it woman!" Lucius yelled. "He was MINE!"

"I believe in the contract Father drew up, _anything_ yours is mine." Narcissa Malfoy nee Black snapped. "You gave that girl a possessed notebook! What if the snake had gotten out of control and gotten Draco?"

Draco heard his parents arguing, and decided to listen, he regretted is as he heard his mother cursing his father out up one side and down the other. The boy quickly walked away, making a mental note to ask Snape for his Brain Bleach™

"Shut up! MY house, MY servants, M-" Lucius started.

"I don't care!" Narcissa replied. "The SECOND you signed that piece of paper, EVERYTHING you had became mine!"

"What?" Lucius, silver tongued legalese extraordinaire, had forgotten the contract drawn up by Arcturus Black. He mentally ran through the contract. He then proved that even those born into high society could have the tongues of sailors.

_**Back to Halloween '93 Great Hall**_

'Fine, in the morning.' Harry thought. 'Can't get away with it now.'

_**All Saint's Day 1993 Great Hall**_

Moans of kids experiencing their first sugar crash induce hangover filled the hall. The teachers were kind enough to put drapes over the large windows and the enchanted ceiling and canceling classes.

_**Somewhere in the Forbidden Forest**_

Sirius Black was _not_ a happy camper. A plan that he had thought out for a full week had not worked.

*CRACK!* He jumped and looked down to see a house elf. "Yous be Sirius Black?" it asked, Sirius' eyes were drawn to the crest on the house elf's uniform, the Potter Crest surrounded by the omega symbol. "Yous be Sirius Black?" It asked again.

"Yes, I am." Sirius said faintly.

"Harry Potter Sir told Dobby to give this to yous." Dobby said putting a picnic basket and another package down in front of the fugitive. "Dobby be back in one days." He popped away.

"Harry knows what happened and he doesn't hate me?" Sirius opened the package first. It had fresh clothes, a tent, and hygiene products. "Yay! Thank you Harry." He jumped up and down at the sight of the hygiene products, despite being a blood traitor the need to be clean that had been pounded into him had never left. "Now, food." Sirius didn't care what kind of food it was, as long as it wasn't trash or some kind of animal he had to hunt down.

The basket revealed a delicious meal of steak finely sliced on a thin loaf of bread, with Swiss cheese on top. Sirius managed to eat it slowly in order to savor it. "Oh sweet Merlin." He said. After eating the sub, Sirius put up the tent, which was one of the Wizarding type tents. It had a bed, bathroom, and kitchen. Sirius grinned, left the tent, took it down in order to find a better place to hide it. Only the least observant wouldn't notice a tent in the middle of the clearing. There was some thick, high brush he could remove and hide the tent in there. Padfoot only needed three feet of clearance.

_**Back in the Great Hall**_

After several hours of misery, most of the students, still reacting to sunlight like vampires, were able to go to their dorms. The Gryffindor portal was being kept guard by McGonagall.

_**Gryffindor Common Room**_

Some of the students, mostly Muggleborns who had known better than to eat several pounds of sugar in an hour, were up and lazing about. Two of these candy-savvy Muggleborns were talking softly. A friend was also there, but she was only down there because it was less painful then being in her dorm.

"Why didn't you guys warn us?" Ginny Weasley said quietly as not to make the headache worse.

"Would you have believed us?" Harry said in an equally soft voice.

Ginny looked up and glared at her hero. "I hate you."

"I'm sure you do." Harry went back to speaking softly with Hermoine.

_**Ravenclaw Common Room**_

Elisha Estraz was mentally cackling. 'Perfect. I'll be able to set up so much.'

_**Slytherin Common Room**_

… The snakes be hiding from even the wavering firelight.

_**Hufflepuff Common Room**_

The house of the Badger was mostly Muggleborn therefore knew that eating that much sugar was a bad idea, therefore were perfectly fine.

_**November 2, 1993 Forbidden Forest**_

Sirius had washed up and changed into the new clothes his godson had sent.

*Cra-crack!* Sirius went back into the clearing to meet with Dobby, he also saw Harry.

"Ha-Harry?" He said. "You trust me that much?"

"No, not really." Harry said. "But I've found a way to be in more than one place at the same time."

"Cool." Sirius said. "The pranking potential for that."

"I've thought of that and plan on using it." Harry said. "First though, I need to know if you betrayed my parents."

"No, but my decisions may have led to their deaths." He said.

"Explain." Harry, even this Kage Bunshin of Harry, wanted to know the full story.

"At that time, you couldn't really tell who was on what side." Sirius started flopping down on the blanket. "We knew there was some telling Voldemort information, we thought it was Remus Lupin because he was a werewolf, stupid since Remus was as loyal as them come." He trailed off, losing himself in the past.

"It wasn't him." Harry prompted, bringing Sirius back.

"No." Sirius' face became dark. "The traitor was Peter Pettigrew."

"Pettigrew?" Harry was surprised. "As in the wizard you killed?"

"Little rat lived." Sirius pulled out a piece of paper. "That's him. James, Peter and I all became Animagi to keep Remus company on the full moon. You know my form is a Grim; your father was a Stag. Peter, we should have been warned, a person's animagus form matches the personality of the person, was a rat. This one." Sirius pointed out the rat on Ron's shoulder. "I've seen his form enough times to know it."

"How much are pedophiles hated in the Wizarding world?" Harry asked, looking at the picture.

"Why?" Sirius blinked.

"Simple, if he was childhood friends with you and my dad, then he'd be in his mid-30's." The clone started. "And he lived as Percy Weasley's pet rat, sleeping in his bed, for nine years and for the last three years he's been living as a pet rat in my dorm."

Sirius stared at him. "So you're going to play the sympathy card to get him questioned?"

"Yep." Harry's clone smiled. "Lupin's said that he'd help us."

"And he learned the spell to reverse the Animagus transformation." Sirius grinned. "Even if you can't convince them to get him for betraying your parents, you can still get him for pedophilia, to answer your question only rapists are hated more."

"Good." Harry's Clone said. "If we don't convict him, we'll prove you didn't kill him, and hopefully shed some doubt on the assumption that you killed the others."

"Don't count on it." Sirius said shaking his head. "The people in power either hate me, are idiots, or don't care."

"They may hate you, but I'm the Boy-Who-Lived." It said posing.

Sirius laughed. "You look so much like James but you're your mother in personality."

"Thanks. Most people don't see that." The clones said, know the original truly thought that. "Anyways, this is what we'll do." The clone had most of Harry's memories and therefore was able to think what Harry thought; as such he knew the plan the real Harry had in mind.

_**November 13, 1993 12 PM Quidditch Pitch**_

Harry hadn't known it could rain this hard. Thankfully he had made sure that his glasses would remain clear and dry. The Slytherin seeker, Draco Malfoy, had somehow gotten hurt. So instead of playing Slytherin, Harry was going up against Cedric Diggory.

'Damn, damn, damn.' Harry thought as he desperately searched for the small golden snitch. 'Where is it? I have to end this game.' What Harry didn't know was that Cedric was having similar thoughts. Harry froze as he started to hear his mother's screams. 'No, not now.' A faint glimmer of gold. 'Thank God.' Harry thought as he chased after it.

"Not Harry, please, not Harry!" He heard his mother beg. "Move aside, you silly girl!" Voldemort demanded through time. "Avada Kedavra!" He See-did-not-See the neon green light of the killing curse just a moment before he grabbed the Snitch, before darkness claimed him, before he fell.

_HARRY!_ Alice screamed along side the players and his friends. Cedric changed his target from the Snitch, now in Harry's hand, to Harry himself. "Gotcha."

Cedric's arm left his shoulder as the dead weight obeyed physics, namely Newton's First Law. "A body in motion stays in motion unless acted upon an external force." The weight lifted as Dumbledore cast the levitation charm.

_**November 13, 1993 10 PM Hospital Wing**_

Harry came to with a start. _You're awake!_ Was the first thing he heard, Alice's worry was evident in her voice. _You're alright, you're alright!_

"Finally awake." A voice said to his left. Harry turned and gasped at a spike of pain in his shoulder. "Sorry about that." Cedric said.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"I grabbed your arm to stop you from falling. I guess you were falling too fast and it dislocated our arms." The Hufflepuff seeker explained.

"Ah." Harry said. "Thanks. Why did you save me?"

"It was the right thing to do." Cedric stared at Harry. "Once you caught the Snitch I had no reason not to." He paused. "Even if you hadn't, I would have gone for you instead."

"Huh." Harry said, turning over and falling back asleep.

_**November 14, 1993 Hospital Wing**_

Harry woke up again to squealing and sunlight. "Pain." He said quietly. Madame Pomfrey came to his rescue.

"Out!" She said. "I told you I would let you know when he can have visitors!" The fangirl left.

"Thank you." Harry said.

"Tsk." The Healer said. "Now, sit up if you can."

_**November 14, 1993 4 PM Hospital Wing**_

"You can leave." She told Harry who gave her a look of horror.

"Bu-but… The fangirls!" Harry had learned that the power of healer was more than the power of fangirl.

"I. Don't. Care!" The Healer said. "OUT!"

Harry whimpered. "Yes, ma'am." He said slipping out.

_**Hallway Outside of Hospital Wing**_

The call of the fangirl was loud and high. Harry ran as if the hounds of hell were after him. 'Note to self, figure out how to seal Cloak in tattoo!' Harry desperately thought as he slipped into a side hallway.

_**3**__**rd**__** year Gryffindor Dorm**_

Harry was doubled over breathing hard. Harry groaned. "I need to find a way to escape them."

_Indeed._ Alice smirked. _You're almost able to use mirrors to travel._

'How close?' Harry thought as he lay down.

_Eh, another month or so._ Alice said shrugging in the Mirror.

"A month?" Harry said aloud. "I can't keep this up for another month!"

_Deal with it._ Alice said.

'You didn't have to deal with fangirls.' Harry thought.

"Hey, Harry?" Neville stuck his head into the room. "Um, the HPFC is demanding you come down."

Harry whimpered.

"They have claimed a fanboy." The pudgy boy said, causing Harry to look up in horror.

"A-a _fanboy?_ Harry asked. "Where di-"

"You could ask them to let you have some safe places." Neville said. "Or agree to spend some time with them."

"…" Harry looked at Neville. "I'll try."

_**Gryffindor Common Room**_

"I'll spend _one_ hour with you guys on weeknights, and _two_ on weekends." He offered. "All other times you leave me alone."

"Bu-but, Harry!" A nameless fangirl said.

"No. This is truly starting to disturb me." Harry said firmly. "Also, you are not to bother me when I'm in the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey puts the blame on me."

"…" They paused. "One moment." They turned and spoke. "Raise it to one and a half hours on weekdays and three on weekends."

"And you lot will otherwise leave me alone?" Harry asked.

"Yes." The HPFC said in unison.

"Very well." Harry said. "Why don't we start now?"

The call was quiet and low.

_**November 30, 1993 3**__**rd**__** Year Gryffindor Dorm**_

Harry flopped backwards onto the bed. It had been just over two weeks, but he was regretting agreeing to upping the time devoted to the HPFC. "I hate them."

"So do I." Neville said reading a book on his bed. "I'm actually glad that I'm not you. Don't understand why Ron's so jealous."

"I so wish I didn't have them." Harry had begged for that so many times. "Why did he choose me?"

"Ask him next time." Neville said turning the page.

"Next time?" Harry looked at his friend.

"You attract him like honey does a fly." Neville said.

Harry buried his head into his bedding.

_**December 14, 1993 Chamber of Secrets**_

"Alright." Harry started. "Let's do this." He faced the mirror and took a step.

_Nyeh!_

**Yes! Cliffhanger. **

_More correctly we lost track of where we were supposed to stop._

**Which resulted in a cliffhanger.**

_No review count thing this time._

**We still want reviews.**

_ALSO! __**WE ARE FEMALE!**_

**I mean really! Why do people always assume we're male?**

_No matter where we go, forums, art sites, ANYWHERE ONLINE!_

**We're taken as guys.**

_Even in real life._

**It sucks.**

_Chapter 9 will be posted when it is posted. 'Kay?_

**Guaranteed Chapter Content…**

_HARRY GOES TO WONDERLAND!_

**X-MAS! NEKOBAA RETURNS!**

_As do Lupin, Sirius, Hermione, Luna, Elisha, and other people._

**Not quite holding it hostage per say, but! Make it to thirty reviews and we'll put an Omake as chapter 10.**

_Incentive! Anyways, it'll probably be posted anyways but we'll post it faster if you get it to 30 reviews._

**But not chapter 9 necessarily. **

_Just barely finished this one._

**Also you people know, we have training 8:30-3:30, but on Fridays we get to start working on it at like 1:40…**

_Not typing though. We do actually write… As in a notebook. _

**Or three.**

_And we're working on Summon Bloodline as well._

**Crap, we do need to work on it.**

_Sooo… It'll be up before the 20__th__._

**Less than two weeks.**

_Eh, Disclaimers_

**Bothering Snape belongs to Neil Cicierega, the cartoon is called "Bothering Snape" and it's on YouTube, go watch it!**

_Chidori, Mokuton, Rasengan, and other Naruto crap belongs to Kishimoto and Viz Media._

**Harry Potter Universe belongs to J. K. Rowling, Warner Bros., and Bloomingdale Publishing House.**

_Alice, Wonderland, and that crap belongs to American McGee, Spicy Horse, and Lewis Carroll._

**Elisha Estraz, Wizarding reaction to sugar crashes, HPFC**

_We're not feeling good. _

**So you'll see several swear words.**

_No worse than crap, hell, and other minor ones like that._

**Other course we hear the R rated ones everyday downtown.**

_If I said by who you lot would flame us for being racist._

**Is it racist if you are telling the truth?**

_Sooo… Probably no update for awhile._

**Omakes will first be of Aunt Marge's stay…**

_After that we'll ask for help!_

**So!**

_**Good Night and Good Luck Y'all!**_


	9. Winter Wonderland

**_Through the Looking Glass Chapter 9_**

**_A Winter Wonderland_**

**Blah, blah, blah, blah blah!**

**_Yeah so Chapter 9._**

**Good reason for delay!**

**_PC we had kept crashing._**

**Lesson learned? SAVE OFTEN! **

**_Truly. Anyways Chapter 9._**

**Nekobaa shows her powers.**

**_Harry goes to Wonderland, meets the Cheshire Cat, gets various stuff._**

**Christmas of course. **

**_That's about it._**

**And New Years!**

**_Yep. Ron continues to prove that he is an moron.  
_**

**_December 14, 1993 Chamber of Secrets_**

_"Alright." Harry started. "Let's do this." He faced the mirror and took a step_

_**Wonderland Day 1**_

Harry stumbled as he stepped from hard stone to soft, springy, but dead grass.

"Whoa." Harry said looking around. Wonderland did not match the descriptions in Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass. Most of the area he was in seemed to be mostly grey scale, the trees seemed to be weeping, and there were statues of Alice, all crying, some pure clean water others a strange black tar like substance.

"Harry!" He finally heard Alice's voice in real life, seconds before she glomped him.

"Alice?" He looked down and saw the girl who had protected and taught him.

"Let me show you around." She grabbed his hand and dragged him off.

_**Wonderland Day 2**_

Harry was now learning how to properly use the Vorpal Knife.

"For someone who has never used it, you're pretty good." A skeletal cat known as the Cheshire Cat told the sweating boy. He was floating and swishing his tail back and forth.

"Thank you." Harry said between breaths.

"And slow your breathing. You'll hyperventilate." The cat said.

Harry nodded and slowed his breathing.

_**Wonderland Day 3**_

"How much time has passed at Hogwarts?" Harry asked, knowing that he could only escape for a few hours at a time.

"About thirty minutes." Alice said twirling the umbrella.

"Only that long?" Harry said.

"Yep." Alice said. "I can alter the time relationship between here and there."

"Nice." Harry said. "Will I be able to do that?"

"Nope." Harry pouted.

"It's an ability special to our Alice." Chesh said from his perch in the tree. "Much like your ability to use wizard magic here."

"Ah." Harry said. "Could I practice my magic here?"

"It would depend on the magic." Chesh said yawning. "If you mean the Animagus thingy, you could, but I would advise against it."

Harry frowned. He had gone against Chesh's advice once, once was enough.

_**Flashback **_

_**Wonderland Day 2.5**_

"Don't go down there." Chesh said to the Boy-Who-Lived who ignored the cat's advice, and jumped down.

_**20 Minutes later**_

Harry found that he too could regenerate at certain points, as well as retain the lessons learned. The Insects that had "killed" him were made of bolts and wire, there were also slugs and other strange creatures that came up from the tar-tears.

Instead of the blue butterflies Alice turned into, Harry turned into a flock of small black birds.

"That hurt." Harry said.

"Lessons can often be painful." Chesh said.

_**End Flashback**_

Harry grimaced. "What about the Jutsu I've been working on?"

"That should be fine." Chesh said. "At least ones you've showed me."

"Cool." Harry said.

_**Wonderland Day 4**_

Harry stepped back through the mirror Alice set up. He would return in one Earth week.

_**December 14, 1993 Chamber of Secrets**_

Harry shivered as the air temperature around him went from warm to cool. "Forgot how cool it is here." He said of the Chamber of Secrets. He didn't notice Chesh following him through the mirror.

_**December 14, 1993 Great Hall 5 PM**_

"Where'd ya go today?" Ron asked through a mouthful of food.

"Here and there." Harry said cryptically.

Ron scowled. "That's not telling us much." This time it was with a clear mouth.

"That's the point." Harry said. "I don't need a keeper, Ron."

"But, what about Black?" Ron was still dead set on the thought of Black being after Harry.

"What about him?" Harry replied. He had actually gone with Lupin to meet Sirius in the flesh. After giving him a bear hug, Sirius was actually well behaved.

"He could kill you!" Ron said.

"Ron, I'm fine." Harry said. "I'll take someone with me next time." This calmed the other boy somewhat.

_**December 14, 1993 Gryffindor Common Room 8 PM**_

"Since Ron asked I've been curious too." Hermione asked. "Where _were_ you?"

"I was in the Chamber working on something." Harry said. "Can we keep it at that?"

"Fine." Harry was surprised that she backed down so fast.

"I'll show you after Christmas." Harry promised.

"We're holding you to that." Ginny said. "Are you planning on getting Ron something?" She knew that Harry was starting to dislike her brother.

"Nope." Harry said. "Why should I?"

No one had a good answer to that.

_**December 21, 1993 Hogsmead**_

Harry groaned. Ron had been dropping "subtle" hints all day long. Namely the more expensive things. 'And he thinks he'll be getting anything?' Harry thought.

_He's an idiot._ Alice said walking along side in the reflections. _Get him something._

'Why?' Harry thought.

_Something like a spider or something else he hates._ Alice grinned.

"Hmm…" Harry said. "Why don't we split up for now?"

"Alright." Ron said, believing he had finally worn Harry down.

"Hermione, mind shopping with me?" Harry said. Ron glared. Hermione was his.

"Sure." She replied, Ron had been drooling over her.

They slipped off. Ron turned to Neville, only to find himself alone.

_**Damian's Knick Knacks**_

The pair walked into the second hand store and looked around.

"Whoa." Harry said.

"Yeah." Hermione agreed.

"Welcome to my shop." Damian Trace said. "Everything is sold as is, all sales final."

"Huh." Harry said as he and Hermione started to walk around.

_**2 hours later**_

Harry and Hermione walked out of the store with several gifts in hand. Both had found something for Ron. Harry had found a pair of black gloves that, if gotten wet, would puff up into fuzzy spider-like balls. Hermione had found a plush spider, one the size of a quaffle.

_**December 25, 1993 Gryffindor 3**__**rd**__** Year Boys Dorm 8 AM**_

Harry woke up to the sound of Ron saying "It's Christmas!" over and over again. He groaned and wondered if he could go downstairs.

"Presents!" Ron, ever the hyperactive moron, said.

Neville had woken up by that time and were facing his presents. Ron dove into the pile. First he opened the gift from Harry, frowning as it was rather small, when he opened it and saw the gloves and what they were made of he grinned.

"My turn." Neville said. He opened a random gift. It proved to be a book on Muggle plants. "Thanks Harry."

"My turn now." Harry said, flopping on his stomach and grabbing the longest. He ripped it open. "Wow, a Firebolt…"

Cue Ron's envy. "Who sent you that?" He asked.

"Dunno." Harry went through the wrapping. "No card."

_Must be from Black._ Alice whispered. _He _did_ say he was getting you something good._

'Probably.' Harry thought. 'Hermione won't be happy about this.'

_No she won't._ Alice agreed. _Pull her aside before she runs off._

"Can I try it?" Ron said.

"Later." Harry said.

"Alright." He replied opening Hermione's present. A shrill scream resounded from the dorm as Ron found the Spider plush in the box. Harry was trying not to laugh.

"It's not alive, Ron." Neville said. "Really."

"Open another, Nev." Harry said.

_**3 Hours Later**_

Everyone was done in the Great Hall. Most parents had brought their kids home because of Sirius Black. So they had combined all of the tables.

_**2 Hours Later**_

Everyone was full. Snape was highly annoyed, due to Dumbledore spelling a Santa Hat to his head, but other than him everyone was in good spirits. Harry doubted it would last until nightfall.

_**2 Hour Later**_

Harry was right. As was Alice, Harry had not been able to pull Hermione aside before she went to McGonagall.

"It'll have to be stripped." She said

"Stripped?" Harry said, following her and his Firebolt. "What do you mean stripped?"

"All enchantments removed, Potter." She said.

"You can redo the enchantments?" Harry said.

"Yes, Madame Hooch, Professor Flitwick and I will be doing this." She answered.

"Do you really think Black would send this?" Harry said. "Spend that much just so he could kill me?" The woman stopped so short Harry nearly ran into her.

"Why do you say that?" She turned to him.

"You mean the price part or the trying to kill me part?" Harry asked.

"Both." Her voice was sharp.

"I spent two weeks in Diagon Alley going past the Firebolt everyday so I know how much it cost, and Black was supposedly Voldemort's right hand man, so he would be trying to kill me." Harry said.

The witch looked at him. "You think he would try to kill you?"

"…" Harry was quiet. "If I said no would I get in trouble?"

McGonagall stared at him. "Why?"

"I don't think he wants to kill me." Harry said. "I spent a lot of time in the Holly and the Ivy this summer and learned a lot about my parents. Sirius Black was my dad's best friend. Why would he betray them?"

McGonagall paused. "I don't know." She said after awhile. "Still, I'd feel safer if we made sure."

Harry sighed as the woman turned away. "Did he ever get a trial!" He asked. "Did any of them get one?"

_**Gryffindor Common Room**_

"Why did you do that Hermione?" Ron demanded. "Why? If Harry doesn't get that back-"

"I'll get another Nimbus." Harry said walking back in. "I have enough from this summer to get another Nimbus 2000." Ron glared at the younger boy.

"You're forgiving her?" Ron said.

"Nope." Hermione paled. "Not yet. She should've asked me before going off to McGonagall."

"I-I was just worried." She said before running out.

Harry followed after sending Ron a glare.

_**Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom**_

"Hey." Harry said opening the door. "Can we talk?"

"You hate me." Hermione sniffled, clutching Nekobaa who was purring.

"No." Harry said. "I don't hate you, but I am upset."

"Huh?" Hermione was confused.

"Not here." Harry turned to the sink. "_Open_" He hissed, Hermione gaped. "_Escalator_" The slide turned into a platform. "Come on." He held out his hand.

"Alright." Hermione said taking his hand. She still held onto Nekobaa

"_Down_" The platform went down. "Now, promise me you won't freak."

"I promise." She agreed.

_**20 Minutes Later Sirius's Clearing**_

"You're Sirius Black!" She yelled.

"I'm guessing you're Hermione Granger." He replied calmly.

"Meow." Nekobaa said drawing attention to her.

"Why do you have a Nekomata?" He asked.

"…" Hermione paused. "You don't want to kill Harry?"

"Why would I?" Sirius said.

"You got me the Firebolt." Harry asked.

"Yep!" Hermione sent him a glare. "I mean your Nimbus was totaled, so I had to help you and Gryffindor!"

Hermione drew in breath.

"I know." Harry cut her off. "You told me so." He smiled.

She bristled.

"When was the last time you slept?" Sirius asked the girl. "Or at least took a day off?"

She blinked and thought.

"Time turner?" He asked. She shifted and looked away. "Huh. He must really like you."

"Time turner?" Harry was confused.

"It allows you to time travel." He paused. "To a point."

"Huh." Harry said. "That's how you manage to get to your classes. All of them."

'All of them?' Sirius thought. "Are you taking _all_ of the electives?"

"Ma-maybe." Hermione actually stuttered.

"Hmmm…" Sirius hummed. "Drop Divination and since you're muggleborn drop Muggle Studies… Uhhh…" He started pacing. "Let's see, Arithmancy is useful, so is Ancient Runes, needed to be a Curse Breaker…" He paused. "Care of Magical Creatures is actually rather useless. So, drop Muggle Studies and Divination." The man blinked. "If you want to remain sane, anyways."

"What do you mean "If I want to remain sane"?" She asked.

"Time turners are regulated for a reason." Sirius said. "Use them too much and you'll start losing your mind. People aren't made to be in multiple places at once."

"Professor Mc-" She started to say but was cut off when Sirius waved his hand.

"Despite what you think McGonagall doesn't know everything." He said. "I was an Auror, one of our duties was to make sure regulated items, like time turners, aren't misused. Truth be told, I think you're misusing yours."

She glared at him.

"Use it to get some sleep." Sirius said. "Like another two hours or so."

"If I don't?" She challenged.

"I'll send in a tip." Sirius said. "Either drop the classes, or get some sleep, sleep deprivation is a surefire way to go insane."

They had a small staring contest, Harry looked on. "Fine, I'll drop the classes."

"I'll make sure she does." Harry smiled. "We should be getting back."

"Yes, people will be getting curious." She was quiet.

"See ya later, Sirius!" Harry waved back.

_**Outside McGonagall's Office**_

"How long have you been in contact with him?" She asked.

"Early November." Harry said.

She knocked, knowing she wouldn't get anymore from him.

_**1 Hour and Minus One Time Turner Later in the Gryffindor Common Room**_

"Where'd you two go?" Ron, ever the busybody when it came to Harry, asked.

"We went for a walk." Harry said. "I wanted to talk to her."

"Why? To tell her ne-" Ron was cut off.

"No!" Harry said. "She's more important than a broomstick. I also talked to McGonagall. She said I'll get it back in a month or so." Ron stared. "So back off."

"But…" Ron said.

"No!" Harry finally lost his temper. "I don't see the point in completely ignoring someone who just was _worried_ about my safety. She just wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to get knocked off of my broom when I'm fifty in the air! Hermione's been more loyal to me than _you_ have. You're just friends with me because I'm the Boy-Who-Lived! BUGGER OFF!" Harry was breathing heavily by now. "You've been a complete and utter arse lately. I made friends over the summer that you haven't given a chance, I've become friends with a girl that I _saved_. I. Don't. Want. People. Like. You. As. Friends! You are a light version of Draco Malfoy, the only difference is _he knows when to keep his mouth shut_!" Harry yelled for everyone to hear. Ron had been frozen throughout the tirade, but once it was over he also lost his temper.

"You, you, you…" He attacked.

_**20 Minutes Later Hospital Wing**_

Ron was easily worse off. Harry had learned out to fight hand to hand that summer. Hermione had run and gotten McGonagall once Harry started yelling. She was not happy with her students. Neither would be released until their guardians could be contacted.

Harry was seething. Ron had blamed it completely on him. He had allowed it to happen far too long. Though he did take some satisfaction in watching Molly Weasley chewing her youngest son out, and had taken the tongue lashing easily.

_**3 Days Later**_

Harry had taken it to the governors. Citing many instances where most would get detention, and several where many would be expelled, evidence had come from other students from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and even Gryffindor. The reason he had not gotten form Slytherin was because they would not tell him anything.

So Ron Weasley had become the first Gryffindor to be expelled in over forty years. Harry explained to Molly and Arthur Weasley he had nothing against them, just their youngest son. Said boy had also been cast out of the family and onto the streets.

_**New School Year**_

Malfoy had not taunted Harry as most would think. Instead the blonde pulled him aside and listened to the non-public side of the story and said that Weasley was the only real reason he was taunting them.

"Why'd you do it?" He asked Harry.

"If I allowed it to happen anymore he would've gotten worse." Harry said. "Maybe even to the point where I'd start comparing him more to Voldemort," Malfoy flinched slightly. "not to you."

Malfoy thought for a moment. "Had you been in any other house, Slytherins would've added to your defense, would've put him in Azkaban, not out in the streets." Harry gaped.

"He was that bad to you?" Harry knew Ron had hated Slytherin house, but not to that point.

"Had he hit puberty, he would've gotten the death sentence." Malfoy said walking away.

Harry was surprised, would've he done that? Even to Slytherins, that kind of thing was unforgivable.

_**End Chapter**_

… **We didn't want to write Ron anymore.**

_So we kicked him out… We're also leaving it up to you guys on what he did to get expelled._

**And what he would've done to get killed.**

_**At Digi-Master-Fan**__ There will be pairings._

**Just not yet. Harry/Hermione, maybe Neville/Luna…**

_Also! 30 reviews… Omake… _

**About Aunt Marge's Stay. Night of 8/3/1993.**

_We had Harry talking to himself._

**So does Gaara from Naruto…**

_Squee! Gaara! _

**Or to the demon in his head…**

_Explanations at end._

_**Through the Looking Glass Omake**_

_**August 3 1993**_

_**1:45 PM**_

'So just creepy songs?' Harry asked Alice.

_Correct_ She said.

"Boy!" His overly large aunt said. "Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"To do my chores like Aunt Petunia told me too." Harry said.

Aunt Marge glared at him but backed off.

_**2 PM**_

_Yankee Doodle._ Alice whispered.

"Yankee Doodle went to town just to eat a pony, stuck it in a Pot and called it Macaroni." Harry sung just loud enough for Marge to hear it.

_**4 PM**_

"Deck the Halls with Blood and Carnage, Fa La La, La La La, La La La." Again, just barely loud enough for her to understand. "'Tis the season to kill others, Fa La La, La La La, La La La."

_**5 PM**_

Harry as quietly talking to himself, when they listened, however, they learned he was indeed talking to a voice in his head. One he called… "Okaa-san"

"I can't kill them yet, Okaa-san." Harry muttered. "Not yet. I have to have them, Okaa-san. If I kill them, then I'll be put into prison. Then what will we do to slack your… thirst?"

Alice was laughing her ass off.

Collective thoughts of Dursley's 'Who the hell is Okaasan?"

_August 3__rd__ is done._

**Okaa-san means mother.**

_A reviewer gave the idea._

**Well, they sad that we should've had a day where Harry did nothing but give Death Glare™ to everyone.**

_Anyways, we reread the chapter and noticed that we did put Harry down as muttering to himself. And his "family" being disturbed by it. And Shukaku, from Naruto, makes Gaara-kun, also from Naruto, believe, after many sleepless nights, that Shukaku is Gaara-kun's mother…_

**And Shukaku is usually demanding blood of others, so Harry acts like a voice in his head is demanding death of others.**

_Every 20 reviews or five chapters you'll get a new Omake_


	10. Mass Chaos and MC Escher

_**Through the Looking Glass 10**_

_**Mass Chaos and M.C. Escher**_

**Meh. No more Ron bashing.**

_No more Ron to bash. ^_^_

**He may pop up in an Omake.**

_Speaking of which. Last one was inspired by Rekmond. No pairings…_

**For now. Next year probably.**

_Year 4 yes._

**Wonderland starts to invade Hogwarts.**

_Hermione gets some R&R._

… **We've lost the D20 of Life…**

_You lost it?_

**The D20 of Life is how we figure some stuff out. **

_D20s are Dice with twenty sides, usually only used in Tabletop RPGs. _

**Anyways, Uhhh… Nekobaa is a kneazle/nekomata hybrid… Kneazle powers, nekomata looks…**

_Sorry about that. Anyways, this chapter the Insanity known as Wonderland invades Hogwarts… And that's it really._

**Also, we will be taking part in the NaNoWriMo challenge.**

_NaNoWriMo is _**Na**_tional _**No**_vel _**Wri**_ting _**Mo**_nth 30 days to write a 50k word rough draft._

**Note the Rough Draft bit. Quality doesn't matter either, just Quantity. It could have more plot holes than Swiss cheese and have them bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Just needs 50,000 words. Will try to update before than though…**

_Many, many references this chapter virtual sugary items of choice to all who notes every one. Bar the obvious Harry Potter and AM: A references. Uhhh…_

**Let's see, Summery, check, notices, check, annnddd… What else? M. C. Escher reference is a freebie.**

_That's it… Anyone who doesn't get the Main Stairwell reference… is unobservant…_

**Yeah… Moving On!**

_**Through the Looking Glass 10**_

_**Mass Chaos and M. C. Escher**_

_**With Chesh January 16, 1993 5:00 AM**_

The Cheshire Cat trotted down the hall, unseen to nearly all, looking around. When he came to the main stairwell he grinned. So many possibilities to cause so much chaos.

_**2 hours later 6:30 A.M. Main Stairwell**_

Minerva McGonagall was at the top of a stair looking down, straight down. The sight was dizzying. She had seen many things in her thirty-odd years at Hogwarts, but seeing the Main Stairwell changed so it was like M. C. Escher's Relativity really took the cake. Little did she know that this was only the beginning. The insanity known as Wonderland has come to Hogwarts.

_**Ravenclaw CR 7:30 A.M.**_

Ravenclaws were over all level headed and logical, but seeing their common room turned into a deadly obstacle course rattled all of them.

Closest to the girls' dorm was a pair of swinging axes. A brave/stupid second year shot a paper airplane into the blades and it was cut cleanly. Whimpers from all years were heard.

Closest to the boys' dorm was a shaft of light. One of the Muggleborns, having been an adventure flick fan before Hogwarts, shot his arm out and back seconds before the trap stabbed his arm. A collective gulp. "We're all going to die here." A seventh year wept.

Past that were other traps, lava pits, more swinging blades, patches of unusual grass, squares with holes, and other obvious traps. The Muggleborns were certain that if there were so many obvious traps there must be at least several dozen more that they couldn't see.

_**Hufflepuff CR Same Time**_

Cedric Diggory had though he would find nothing scarier than the dementors. He was proven wrong, very, very wrong. He knew that the Hufflepuffs would all have similar fears. The difference would be which creature it was. "Animatronics," Said a terrified first year.

_**Slytherin CR Same Time**_

Draco Malfoy was drumming his fingers on his arm while glaring at the swamp between him and the common room entrance. He clicked his tongue and walked forward. He would be able to find a shower outside of the common room; hopefully he'd be able to salvage the strange outfit his clothes had been changed into.

_**Gryffindor CR Same Time**_

Gryffindor was best off, at first glance. When inspected most people would agree that Gryffindors had the worst luck. Somehow the common room had been changed to a vast savannah. Doorways to the dorms and the exit stood out like sore thumbs. The dorms were unprotected by the local wildlife. The exit, however, was in the middle of a pride of lions.

_**Staff Room 3 hours later**_

Four students were sitting in the Staff Room, well three were, and the fourth was hiding under a couch, away from the seagull that had attacked her. Cedric and Harry were staring at the clown in the corner, when they looked away the clown would move, but only if they looked away.

Malfoy was covered in muck and trying to get it off using vanishing spells.

"So, Ravenclaw common room is a death trap, Slytherin is little more than a swamp, Gryffindor is a savannah and Hufflepuff is an Animatronic hell." Severus Snape said.

"Yep." The Ravenclaw chirped from under the couch. "Yes." Harry and Cedric said not looking away from the clown doll. "Yes, Slytherin is slimy." Draco Malfoy said offhandedly. Harry laughed at that.

"Can we get outside help on this?" Flitwick said. "I don't think we can dismantle this on our own."

"I agree with Fillus." Dumbledore said surprising the staff, he rarely asked for help.

"This is far beyond what any of us could do." Lupin said looking at Snape. "Even just the stairwell is beyond us."

"Seirra Estraz might be able to." Snape said.

"No, she couldn't." Elisha said from her place under the couch. "She messed up a spell and is on bed rest until her hip and leg heal. Even she could get here she wouldn't be able to do all of this in one night."

"Then who did it?" Sinistra said. "Who _could_?"

Snape walked over to the clown doll, wand out. One of the few things that could creep him out, clowns. He pointed his wand and muttered a destruction spell. He did not expect the clown to just absorb the spell and launch itself at his neck. The Potion's Master managed to put his arm up before it wrapped its thin arms around his neck. He stumbled back and fell over as the clown slowly squeezed and twisted. He heard a screech and someone straddling his chest, before he blacked out.

She saw Snape fall back and the clown around his neck, instinct to destroy any and all clown dolls she saw took over.

_**20 minutes later**_

Snape found himself on a couch. His neck was burning. He sat up quickly and looked for the clown that had nearly killed him.

"Stay down." He heard McGonagall said. "Ms. Estraz destroyed it."

"What?" He did as the woman said.

"Ripped it apart." Lupin said. "I've only seen Greyback be more vicious."

"She's acting like it was her mortal enemy." Flitwick said. "Though if I remember correctly, she had to deal with an evil clown several years ago."

Snape was silent. "Who are we going to call?"

Elisha, from her place under the couch, had to resist the urge to reply 'Ghostbusters'.

"Albus is talking to some Unspeakables." McGonagall said. "He'll be back in a few hours."

"We should check on the students." Flitwick said. "Ms. Estraz?"

"Yeah?" She looked up.

"Show me how to get through the common room." He said, getting up.

"'Kay." She got up and followed her head of house; hopefully they would be able to rescue the other Ravenclaws.

_**Next Day Great Hall 11 AM**_

The students had been moved into temporary housing as the Unspeakables scratched their heads trying to figure out the magical insanity. The main staircase was first on the list. It was also the easiest to undo.

"Who would do this?" Hermione asked. "Never mind the could." She was quiet.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, though he had a good idea. "Maybe a magical creature?" _Which describes Chesh to a tee._ Alice whispered.

"Why not a human?" Elisha joined the conversation. "Humans can do something like this."

"Not that fast." Harry said. "At least I don't think so."

"I doubt it was a human." Luna agreed. "But what could do stuff that fast?"

Harry shrugged and went back to his book.

_**Three days later Slytherin CR 8:30 PM**_

Draco Malfoy was certain that he was being watched constantly. He didn't know by what, but he knew he was being watched. Though, sometimes he saw a skeletal cat from the corner of his eye, but when he turned his head it was gone.

He put it from his mind and went to bed.

_**3rd Year Slytherin Dorm 9:30 PM**_

The Cheshire Cat swished his tail as he sat on top of Draco Malfoy. This one would be fun to play with. The cat seemed to sink into the boy, into his dreams.

_**Draco's Dream**_

Draco was having an odd dream. At first it was him beating Potter at Quidditch, and then it got weird once he landed Snitch in hand. Instead of the Pitch his dream had showed him he landed on a giant mushroom.

"Meow." The skeletal cat said. Draco stared.

'What the hell?' He thought.

"Well? Are you just going to stare?" The cat said. Draco screamed and jumped back and off the mushroom.

"Yo-you can talk!" He declared as he climbed back up.

"Yes." The cat said. "My name is Chesh."

"Chesh?" Draco blinked. "Um… I'm Draco." Draco saw no harm in saying so.

"I know." The cat grinned, Draco shivered at the sight.

After the introductions, Draco's dream became a nightmare, one he thankfully forgot come morning.

_**February 1, 1993 Great Hall 9:30 AM**_

The students had slept soundly the night before back in their dorm rooms. Several students had woken up with creepy dreams, not bad ones, just creepy. No one could really remember beyond it seemed to be another world. The teachers merely told them to forget the dreams and carry on.

It wasn't until a pair of Ravenclaws found what seemed to be a wasps' nest did anyone think it was strange. The nest was large and produced flies made of iron bolts. A simple Flipendo got rid of them.

_**February 28, 1993 Quidditch Pitch 10:30 AM**_

This is your fault." Draco Malfoy accused his rival. It was the end of the Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch match and the players were stuck in the air due to the Zombie/Inferni. "And they're called Inferni, not zombies."

"It is NOT my fault, and they are Zombies." Harry retorted. The pair continued to argue over the Inferni/Zombie issue as they creatures below were taken care of which took three hours.

_**End Chapter**_

_Anyways catch all of the references and you'll get a virtual sugary item of your choice and a mention._

**Yep. Also no update until December. **

_Will be focusing on Novel._

**Therefore you lot have time to give us more reviews.**

_True. Why don't you review? It doesn't take long. _

**Am tempted to hold chapters for hostage…**

_Not the next one. We be busy, busy, busy._

**Get it to 50 reviews and you'll get an Omake.**

_Yes, 17 more reviews equal one Omake or four more chapters…_


	11. What Happened to Peter

_**Omake for Through the Looking Glass**_

**Yes, this is the new chapter.**

_Due to us getting writer's block._

**And we implied that we'd update in December…**

_Sooo__… __So__you__lot__don__'__t__worry__we_are_alive._

**Maybe not well… Getting your teeth pulled is not pleasant!**

_Meh. _

**Oh, this is another bit about filling a plot hole we noticed… A rather big plot hole that is needed for plot... So this chapter is called.**

_**What happened to the Rat?**_

Peter had heard of Harry and Ron's fight. Who didn't? He also knew what Ron had gotten away with.

The moment he heard Harry had taken over Dumbledore's head, Peter ran. He knew that Sirius Black was stalking the forest. He couldn't leave the castle, but that did not worry him. Peter knew the castle better than anyone alive. Seven years of being a Marauder and over a decade as a pet rat gave Peter a lot of time to explore.

Peter, having been "lost" for over two months, squeaked as a house elf grabbed him. "Harry Potter sir will be glad Dobby found yous." The house elf crowed.

_**Sometime later**_

Harry stared at the cage that his house elf held up. "Dobby, you are awesome." Sirius was as good as free. Harry went to a mirror and placed the cage, and Peter, into what counted as his inventory. Alice and Cheshire had made him one, after making him promise he wouldn't use it for stupid things.

_**15 minutes later, outside the Headmaster's Office.**_

Harry had taken to carrying around a foldable mirror just in case he needed to run from whoever. Currently Harry was seemingly digging through the mirror for something. After a few minutes Harry lifted a cage out with an "Ah-ha!"

He said the password, Tootsie Rolls, and walked up the staircase. He knocked on the door. He heard the gentle voice of Albus Dumbledore telling him to come in.

Harry went in and placed the cage on the older man's desk, away from the various papers and such. "This is an Animagus." Harry said.

Dumbledore stared. "That is a rat." He stated the obvious. "Once belonging to Ronald Weasley."

"Yes, Ron lost him shortly after our fight. Ron didn't even notice that his pet was gone." Harry said. "Just humor me and hit him with a revealing spell?" Harry performed his Koinu Mektsuki no Jutsu. Dumbledore, like all before him, crumbled.

"Engorgio." He placed and enlarged the cage first. "Animagus Revealio." A bright jet of light hit the rat. It slowly changed back into a rat-like man. "…" Dumbledore stared. It wasn't everyday one saw a supposedly dead man.

"He-headmaster." Peter said. "H-harry." He turned to the boy. Harry merely glared.

"Wormtail." If Harry's voice could change the air temperature the room would've been well below zero.

"Peter Pettigrew." Dumbledore's voice was flat. "Expecto Patronum." A white light disappeared to who-knows-where, probably to the Ministry.

"Does this prove that Sirius Black is innocent?" Harry said.

"Of killing Peter and the muggles." Dumbledore. "But not him being a traitor and a Death Eater."

Harry pouted. "Are you going to interrogate him?"

A knock on the door surprised both of them. "That was quick." Harry commented.

"Come in." Dumbledore said. Madame Bones entered.

"What is this about Peter Pettigrew bei-" She stopped as she saw the man in the cage. "How?"

"Simple, he never died in the first place." Harry said. "And he framed Sirius Black."

"We'll have to interrogate both of them." The witch said.

"I know where Sirius is." Harry said. "Or I know how to get a message to him."

"Very well." Madame Bones said, still in shock. "Have him meet us at the Shrieking Shack. Eep!" She jumped as Peter changed into a rat and attempted to escape. "Stupefy!" A red light stilled the rat. Dumbledore conjured a cage and spelled it. Bones also spelled it to be unbreakable.

_**20 minutes later, Shrieking Shack**_

Harry had sent Dobby to get Sirius. The canine Animagus was in the bushes and only came out when he saw Dumbledore and Harry.

The Aurors walked over to him and placed magic repressing cuffs on him. They took him away.

_**A long time later, Leaky Cauldron**_

"I'm free, I'm free, I'm free." Sirius chanted has he bounced down the street to Gringotts. He planned on making Harry his heir. It wouldn't take effect until Harry confirmed it, but they had spoken about it and Harry agreed that it was a good plan, especially when he found out the only other alternative was Draco Malfoy.

Harry privately thought the blonde would have enough on his plate as Lord Malfoy never mind as Lord Black as well. He publicly thought that Lucius Malfoy was, while a proven innocent, Dark and therefore evil.

When he explained it to Sirius, the man had shrugged and said he didn't doubt Lucius was a Death Eater, but he knew Narcissa wasn't a Death Eater. Harry asked why not. Sirius explained his family wanted at least one that couldn't be proven as a Death Eater. If only to preserve the family honor.

_Ummm… Yeah. Shortly after Halloween we noticed we did nothing with Peter._

**As in not having him captured…**

_At least we don't have to now._

**True. We don't. Sooo…**

_Yeah. Have a nice Christmas if we don't post again before then._

**Which is possible.**

_Hit 70 reviews and you get another omake!_

**Next time at the end of a chapter! ^_^**

_Also** Koinu Mektsuki no Jutsu** directly translates to Puppy Eyes Technique._

**If anyone with actual knowledge of the Japanese language, we'd love you to help us with Jutsu names for Summon Bloodline. **

_Or here, but most of the Jutsus here will be from Naruto Canon._


	12. April and Its Fools

_**Through the Looking Glass**_

**Writer's block is gone, baby!**

_So is our X-mas Money… Anyways we started this on X-mas but things got busy._

**Namely visiting relatives we only see once in a couple blue moons.**

_I got an Android! Having fun on that, though I have yet to find an app that'll let me type up stories…_

**Wrote an original story… Not going to post it on here due to the fact that it is more or less a lemon.**

_Nor is it Fanfiction. Though the paper one was._

**Anyways, chapters will now be called "updates"**

_Because they may not _be_ chapters. Like last time. _

_**Update 12 **_

_**Chamber of Secrets AKA Laboratory of a Mad Wizard**_

_**March 4th, 1994**_

_**Chamber of Secrets 10am **_

Hermoine was stunned as the pair walked through the formally forgotten chamber.

Harry had redone the place, though he left all of the snake motifs alone. Shelves hung from the snake like pillars. Books, vials, all sorts of equipment lined them.

"What is all this?" She asked.

"Hmm?" Harry said. "Oh all of this, I've been doing various experiments with the stuff I found done here. Managed to bring a rat skeleton back to life." Hermoine stared at her friend.

"Why? Why would you do that?" The older girl said. "That's necromancy!"

"Ehh…" Harry paused. "Not really, all I did was make it move. More like a puppet than anything. Let me show you." Harry turned down one of the tunnels.

Hermoine was highly interested. Bringing something back to life without necromancy? It was supposedly impossible, not that something being impossible had stopped Harry from doing things.

Hermoine saw the small skeleton. Harry made some hand gestures and several strings of light hit the major joints. The boy twitched his hands and the rat seemed to come alive. It shook its head and looked towards her.

"…" Hermoine was stunned. "How? It's not really alive is it?"

"Nope, I've learned another form of magic. It's called ninjutsu." Harry said. "It comes from around Japan."

"Can I learn?" She spun around. Harry laughed. "What?"

"I knew you were going to say that." Harry said, motioning for her to follow him.

After several minutes, Harry came to a book case and pulled down several books _Kawarimi, Bunshin, Henge and Other Useful Jutsu_ and _Puppeteering for Dummies_. "I learned it from these two. Read _Kawarimi, Bunshin, Henge, and Other Useful Jutsu_ first though. It has the basics." He said as he handed them to her.

_**Gryffindor Common Room 1pm**_

Hermoine was absorbed in the books Harry had given her, she had tried to read the Puppeteering one first, before agreeing with Harry that the other one would be more useful for her at the moment.

'Generally in order to use Jutsu one must use hand signs. However there are Jutsu, the Rasengan for example, that requires no hand signs. Bird, Boar, Dog, Dragon, Ox, Tiger, Serpent, Rat, Horse, Monkey, Hare, and Ram are the hands signs most commonly used. There are other specific to certain Jutsu such as the Kage Bunshin and for breaking Genjutsu.' Hermoine looked down the page and saw the hand signs pictured. This could be harder than she thought.

_**3 days later**_

Harry was showing Hermoine how the do the hand signs and how to move her chakra, which was a different type of energy than the kind she was used to using. She had tried to figure it out on her own but had given up after her Bunshin had ended up looking half dead and colorless. She was doing better, but not by much. Harry told her that he had taken a week to figure it out.

"Bunshin no Jutsu!" Hermoine cried, a perfect copy of her down to the grin she currently had on appeared, and disappeared after several seconds.

"Next, the Kawarimi." Harry said. "You can also do Jutsu without hand signs, if you know them well enough. This is one you should learn how to do signless, or at least how to do one handedly."

"The book said you couldn't!" She exclaimed.

"Once again you imply that every written word should be taken as gospel." Harry said crossing his arms and merely saying "Henge" a perfect copy of Albus Dumbledore stood in front of her. "Kawarimi is useful enough to get out of harm's way, and put someone/something into it if need be, or even seem to teleport."

Hermione looked at him. She trusted him enough to believe that it could be done, but she needed proof.

"I'll prove it." Harry sighed. "I know you've memorized the shelves already, though you haven't read the books, pick one from the Potions M-O section."

"Orchids and Their Uses." She said. Harry disappeared with a small poof of smoke which revealed a small stone with the words "Potions M-O" on it. Harry replaced it a moment later holding out the book she had asked for.

"You can also do it with less of a poof." He said as she looked through the book. "Same with the Henge and Bunshin. If you want to do what I just did just focus on the item you want to switch with."

Hermione nodded as she handed the book back. Harry repeated the action.

"The placement rocks have timers on them so they'll return to their place after 10 minutes unless picked up." Harry said.

"How did you do that?" Hermione asked, knowing Harry didn't have the knowledge to do that just yet.

"I brought Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall down here in exchange for them making the stones." The green eyed boy said.

"Ah." She walked off to practice some more.

_**Three Weeks Later**_

Hermione had finally gotten, what she thought to be the most useful out of the "Academy Three" as the book called them, Kawarimi down to the point where she no longer needed the hand signs nor would a poof of smoke appear as she used it. She started to carry around a small pebble in order to return to her library table if possible. Harry had asked her not to use it excessively.

_**The Next Day**_

Harry met Sirius at Gringotts in order to complete the ritual that would make him the Black heir. Basically unless Sirius had male child Harry would inherit all of the pros and cons of being Lord Black when Sirius died.

Sirius also told him that that summer he, Harry, and other various people would be cleaning out his family home.

_**April 1st 1994**_

'April Fool's Day.' Harry mentally laughed. Alice was physically laughing. This day would go down in Hogwarts History. Maybe even make it in to the book Hogwarts: a History. The Heir to the Marauders, the Weasley Twins, and the Lady of Wonderland were teaming up with help from Padfoot of the Marauders himself. Poor poor Hogwarts.

_**8:55am Great Hall**_

Harry walked in the Great Hall sat down and waited for it to begin.

_**Five Minutes Later**_

A pitch black owl delivered a package to Snape the nervous Potions Master. A blast of purple light filled the hall. Not even those who had managed to duck had been spared the humiliation that followed. Dumbledore, instead of black, now wore a rainbow colored jester suit, once again with shoes, hat, and bells which looked a little like skulls. McGonagall now had tabby cat ears and a tail. Flitwick looked like a moglin, Snape was now dress in well fighting(not skin tight, leather clothes trench coat and long fedora hat. Students could not decide whether the Potions Master looked hot or incredibly cool.

The Gryffindors also had changed, lion manes of various shades coated even the girls.

Ravenclaws had sprouted various kinds of bird wings, evidently according to the person.

Hufflepuffs now had badger coloring in their hair, and badger claws on their hands.

Slytherins had not been spared by any means, thankfully not into snake or snake like creatures. They did find scales on their back of their hands and their tongues had forked.

_**11am Great Hall Lunch Time**_

Snape had found he actually liked the outfit and decided, if it disappeared, to go get a similar outfit.

McGonagall had found that her ears were just as sensitive as the ones in her cat form. Many points were lost that day due to the headache that quickly formed.

Flitwick mere canceled his classes so he could research the spell cast.

Dumbledore joined the Charms master in figuring out the spell so it could be undone. At least his outfit's color was fitting for him.

Since nothing had happened during classes the population of Hogwarts thought that it was over. Foolish foolish people, the day devoted to pranking had only just begun.

This time a package was delivered to the Prince of Slytherin, AKA Draco Malfoy.

An orange light came from this one. This time the scenery had changed. Stonework seemed to become clear as glass, with trees holding up the ceiling. When everyone left they saw that the ceiling had been replaced with tree tops. The floors of the upper floors looked like the tops of trees. The dungeons had become tunnels. The teachers were not amused.

_**6pm Great Hall Dinner Time**_

The final package of the day was delivered to the Headmaster. Dumbledore attempted to use his wand to open the package, but the package made no reaction to the spells.

When he physically opened it a poof of smoke spread from the package. A strong wind picked up as the smoke spread. Everyone felt the spells being almost pulled off into the whirlwind that had placed itself in the middle of the room.

Snape mentally wept for his leather outfit. He truly enjoyed it.

As the whirlwind grew the scenery seemed to be pulled into it as well.

It died suddenly leaving everything and everyone in the same state, though more than a little freaked out, as they were this morning.

_**End Chapter**_

_Shorter than usual…_

**Chapter itself is less than 2k words…**

_1,547 to be precise. For Moglin see Dragonfable. _


	13. Insanity of Tests House Elves and Sports

_**Insanity of Tests, House Elves, and Sporting Events**_

_*holds some EAD paddles* Clear! *Shocks dummy with story title on its forehead. *_

_***Machine beeps***_

**We have a pulse!**

_Yeah it has been revived by your love and attention._

**100 faves and 100 followers!**

_AND you'll get an Omake at the end._

**Takes Harry up to the end of the summer.**

_Not much Wonderland here._

Wonderland had nearly vanished from Hogwarts overnight. This had three reactions among the population; paranoia, relief, and grief.  
Paranoia came generally from the Slytherins who had been harassed by the creatures of Wonderland. Grief came from Fred and George Weasley and other students who had enjoyed the creatures antics. Relief came from the non-paranoid victims of Wonderland.  
Nests of Bolt-Flies, as Professor Flitwick deemed them, were no longer found and used as target practice.  
Corridors usually used for agility training were now clear.  
Zombie/Inferni no longer stalked the Quidditch Pitch, to the relief of the players. The moaning was starting to get irritating enough for the players to find out that "killing" them did not work unless the heads were destroyed. Example, should a zombie/Inferni be blasted in half somehow each part would regenerate again and again.

"Why did they disappear?" Hermione asked. She was one of the few paranoid Gryffindor. "And where did they go?"  
"I agree." Harry knew /_where_/ the creatures and traps, bar the zombies/Inferni, went back to, but he didn't know /_why_/. Alice wasn't sure why they returned. All Chesh would say was _she_ made them go back because they were disturbing her. He wouldn't say who /_she_/ was, nor would any of the other sentient creatures that had gone to Hogwarts.  
Sirius had contacted Harry about living arrangements for the summer. He had admitted that his house was a dump and needed to be cleaned. Harry offered Dobby to help which Sirius accepted eagerly. Just the kitchen, parlor, and bedrooms needed would probably take time, more than likely into late July, well into the summer to Harry's annoyance. He did _not_ want to go to the Dursley's even for a few weeks.  
Exams came and went, using his now epic ninja skills Harry had managed to /compare/ his answers to those of other students. Needless to say, Harry had a _very_ easy time in the written parts.

By the end of the year the school population had mostly forgotten the nightmares that the creatures had caused.  
Harry was sure that most of the events of the year would be forgotten until the students were reminded for some reason or another.

Harry was bouncing in his seat on the train. Only a few weeks until he could live with his godfather. He did wonder why Sirius needed that much time to clean up his house. 'Then again, he is from a "dark" family. Can't have the Boy-Who-Lived killed by a "dark" object from the Black family.'  
Uncle Vernon was waiting impatiently at King's Cross. "Get in before people see you boy" His uncle said, moving to the car and opening the trunk.  
'This is going to be a long few weeks' Harry thought as he put his things into the car.

Uncle Vernon had laid down some rules once they got home; do the chores given, stay out of sight and don't do 'freakish stuff'.  
Harry explained that a friend of his father's would be picking him up in late July, but he didn't know exactly when.  
"He can act normal. Not like the one from a few years ago or the ones that took care of Aunt Marge." He explained quickly.  
"Fine. Go to your room." Uncle Vernon said.

Alice and Hedwig were his only friends for that long lonely month only spaced by occasional letters from Sirius updating him on the progress.  
On July 17th Sirius informed Harry that Lupin would be picking him up the next day. All were overjoyed at the news.

A knock at the door signaled the Werewolf's arrival.  
Aunt Petunia let him in and told him coldly to get the boy and get out.  
Lupin frowned when the woman's back was turned. Perhaps Harry would let him leave a few _gifts_ as thanks. Moony was alive and well even if he hadn't shown his prankster side the previous year. He no longer had the protection of being a student and was at Snape(the Potion Master)'s mercy.  
"Not anymore, Moony!" Sirius had exclaimed. "Snape may be one of the best but he's not the only potion master who can brew the Wolfsbane Potion."  
"They don't treat you very well." He noted.  
"I was dumped on them." Harry replied. "Don't hurt them too much."  
The werewolf grinned, a disturbing sight. "I rarely harm the people I prank. Though last year has given me a few ideas." He muttered a few words and shrunk Harry's trunk.  
"I'm not going to get in trouble for that, am I?" Harry asked remembering the owl from a few years ago.  
"No, you won't. A student's wand signature is marked for the summer." Lupin explained. "We'll be taking a portkey to Sirius' house. Be careful there. Most of it is safe, but there are bits that are still dangerous." Lupin held out a piece of paper.  
Harry felt a pulling sensation behind his navel before he appeared in a dark colored themed entryway.  
"Harry!" Sirius waited a moment before hugging his godson tightly. I'm so glad you're finally here!" Harry grinned at the sight.  
He saw the draped picture frame and was curious.  
"Portrait of my mother." Sirius explained with a scowl.  
"Ah." Harry asked.  
"As Moony told you, there are places off limits." Sirius started. "For now the Library is off limits as are the various bedrooms that are locked. Those belonged to my family and the only one I would trust is my brother's room." Sirius paused here for a moment. "And I should introduce you to Kreature." He called the house elf, seemed to be insane and had a hatred for all things non-purist. "Kreature, this is Harry. You are to obey him as if he was a Black."  
Kreature muttered something that the humans took as a disgruntled and reluctant yes. Harry decided that he would need to talk to Kreature about food and potential poisoning. It would not look good if he died under Sirius' care due to poisoning.

Harry called for Kreature later that night.  
"Kreature." Harry attempted to draw the demented elf's attention to him and the real world. "Kreature! I need you to pay attention to me!"  
No response beyond a pause in his mutters. "Kreature, I order you to pay attention to me and the real world!"  
Kreature paused again and seemed focus on Harry. "What else does half-blood master want?" He said.  
"I want you to not try to kill me, directly or by not doing anything, understand?" Harry said quickly. Kreature had a hard time focusing on him.  
"Kreature promises not to harm Harry Potter through action or by doing nothing." He said before returning to his muttering.  
"You can leave, Kreature." Harry said. 'He needs major help.'  
"More like needing to be put down." Chesh said.  
'There were people like that at the Asylum.' Alice said from the mirror. 'Generally they didn't last long.'  
Harry flopped back on the bed and slept.

July went by quickly. Harry helped Sirius clean up the house.  
At the end of July came not only his birthday, but the Quidditch cup as well. Both Harry and Sirius were excited about the upcoming events.  
"Now, we'll be doing an overnight thing." Sirius said. "Wizarding tent and everything. The Weasleys will be across the way from our camp, just to warn you."  
"Right, use the anti-fangirl trunk." This made Sirius smile.  
"We got box seats, both us and the Weasleys, so we'll need to watch out for the Malfoys and politicians." Sirius said. "Rumor has it that the Bulgarians have Veelas as their mascots, so that'll be an interesting sight."  
"Why would that be?" Harry asked none of his Beastaries had gone into depth about Veelas for some reason.  
"They have to enchant people." Lupin said. "Bringing them to a highly emotional event like the Cup isn't the best of ideas. They may transform and that is not a pretty sight."  
"Since when has sense and sports, magical or not, gone hand in hand?" Harry asked.  
"Harry has a point." Sirius agreed. "Anyway, we'll be leaving in the morning for the match."  
Later on Lupin pulled Harry aside to plead to avoid bringing the insanity of the school year to the match. Harry said he would try but could not promise.

The next morning and another portkey trip later Sirius was paying for the camp site.  
They arrived to the site and began to set up the tent, which was harder than the telly made it look.  
"Whoa." Harry said entering the tent. It looked like the inside of a house instead of a tent.  
"Doesn't look like a tent in here does it?" Sirius asked. "It's some kind of space warping spell. Hey, Remus, can you expl-"  
"I never tried to learn this kind of enchantment Sirius." Lupin said walking in. "We should go early so Harry doesn't get noticed and mobbed."  
Harry mentally thanked the older man.

Even though they left early Harry still had trouble with his fans. Telling them that if they backed off for the remaining part of August, he would consider giving away a small amount of signed pictures, caused them to do so.  
Sirius was highly amused with this. Lupin was not.

Lucius Malfoy glared at Harry and proceeded to ignore the younger wizard. His wife nodded to her cousin before turning her attention to the field.  
The various politicians did not leave him alone. Fudge was telling him about a new law that would require Vertiserum to be used on new and current Azkaban prisoners to 'prevent repeats of what happened to Black.'  
The foreign ministers were merely curious about the child who the Brits so worshipped. Like Harry they were annoyed at Fudge's chatter.  
"Will you be quiet?!" Harry snapped. "The match is about to start."

Lupin had heard right about the Veela. They entranced those attracted to women, the leprechauns entranced those attracted to gold.  
The match went to Ireland though Krum caught the Snitch.  
Down on the field things got nasty as the Veela attacked Irelands mascots. No one was hurt but the press had a field day against the team managers.

The parties lasted well into the night. It was nearing midnight did screams of terror interrupted Harry's sleep. Fred, George and Ginny were shoved into the tent.  
Harry looked out into the night later on and saw an emerald skull with a similarly colored snake coming from its mouth. 'The Dark Mark.' He thought as he closed the flap.

The ones attacking the Muggles had bolted once the Mark had gone up. Harry was told.  
"They ran because they were afraid of someone who had the guts to spell it up." Sirius said several days later.  
"Why?" Harry asked. "Why would they run?"  
"They betrayed a very powerful, insane, and clever man." Sirius explained. "In the last war, traitors didn't last long in his camp."  
"Wow." Harry said.  
"We will wait a few days to get your supplies and discuss that promise you made to your fans." He continued. "How small is a small number?"  
"I was thinking around 200 pictures." Harry replied. "All things considered."  
"Also, what _kind_ of pictures." Lupin chipped in. "Pictures that have you in school uniform, Quidditch uniform, dress robes, muggle clothes, or..."  
"Or nothing at all." Sirius grinned, showing Harry that Lupin was necessary for consistent maturity.  
"No." Harry said flatly. "Not for a few years."  
"Good. I'm glad you said that." Lupin said. "It would ruin your current school boy image."

"Still, I think that 200 is the right number." Sirius said. "Though it will take a while to sign them all. Even with your clone trick."

"Clone trick?" Lupin asked.

"Yeah." Harry said. "Kage Bunshin No Jutsu. It's an Eastern magic spell."

"Prove it." Lupin cross his arms.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Harry formed the correct hand sign despite the fact he did not need to. A perfect clone of Harry appeared beside him. "I can only do three at a time and only for maybe 10 minutes each."

"Hmm." Lupin was a quiet for a while.

"Ha!" Harry said as he finished the 200th signed photo. He and Sirius had decided to go with dress robes he had to get anyways for the next school year.

"Now, Harry." Sirius said seriously. "The Triwizard Tournament is coming to Hogwarts this year. Do _not_ take part if you can avoid it. They'll make you do major stuff like fight a dragon if you do."

"I'll try." Harry said. "I'll try for a normal year where I'm in the stand for this thing."

"Good." Sirius grinned. "Go cause chaos, my boy."

"Yes, sir!" Harry replied as he boarded the train to take him to Hogwarts.

_**Omake**_

Hogwarts was at first amused by the 'Wonderland' creatures. However after some time she grew more and more annoyed and told their leader, a skeletal cat named Chesh, that they were not welcome there during the end of year tests.

"Alice and Harry will ask why." Chesh said.

Hogwarts replied that he would've have to find a reason that would satisfy them and that they could come back for a few months next year.

"Why only a few months?" Chesh asked tail swishing back and forth.

He felt Hogwarts grin and felt that it would be known in time.

"Triwizard Tournament?" Chesh parroted Alice.

"It involves two other schools so there is a lot of school pride going on." She explained to what the extent she understood.

"Hmm." Chesh said before fading. If Harry was chosen, Wonderland _would_ help him. Regardless what Hogwarts thought.

_**End Omake**_

**AED Paddles are the paddles you see on medical shows. They send an electrical shock through your chest in hopes that it restarts your heart.**

_Otherwise you stay dead. And dead is bad._

**Small poll. Should we keep the other champions the same or switch things up even more.**

_Tasks will be the same and Harry _will_ be in it._

**So, yet another change or not?**


	14. Same School, Different Year

**_Same School, Different Year_**

"You know what Malfoy is talking about." Ginny accused Harry.

"And you'll find out in a few hours." Harry said. "Have some patience."

Other than that the ride was peaceful with games of exploding snap, even though the game itself was not peaceful.

* * Later * *

Dumbledore did explain, after a spectacular entrance by the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, what Malfoy was talking about.

The Triwizard Tournament was to be held at Hogwarts. The two other major magical schools of Europe (Durmstrang and Beauxbatons) would send their best students to compete for the fame and glory of the Triwizard Cup and 1000 Galleons.

The students and Heads of the rival schools would arrive in October and the choosing of the competitors (Champions) would take place on Halloween. An impartial judge would be choosing the Champions.

Many students were either visualizing themselves with the Triwizard Cup, and the 1000 galleons, in their hand.

"However, due to the lethality of previous Tournaments a restriction has been put on the Champions." He started to crush most people's dreams. "Only those 17 and older may compete."

The Weasley twins declared they would find a way to enter and promptly started to scheme.

The next morning the Gryffindors found themselves squeezing _pus_ out of large black slugs known as Bubotubers.

"Good, this will keep Madame Pomfrey happy." Professor Sprout said. "Excellent remedy for the more stubborn forms of acne."

Harry remembered the horror stories he had heard from Madame Pomfrey about them and shuddered. Someone had tried to _curse_ hers off. Thankfully Madame Pomfrey is good enough to have reattached the girl's nose.

* * Care of Magical Creatures * *

"What are those?" An abnormally pale Draco Malfoy asked pointing to the strange creatures in the pens.

"Blast Ended Skwerts." Hagrid said proudly.

"Hagrid, are these dangerous?" Harry asked. "I mean for normal people like us."

Hagrid looked at Harry. It said all Harry needed to know. Yes they were dangerous.

"Now, did you have a backup lesson?" Hermione asked. Another thing she had done the previous school year was have Dumbledore make Hagrid have backup plans.

"Er, yes." The half-giant said. "Follow me." The class followed their teacher away from the pen.

The back-up lesson was to teach them about Thestrals, even if they couldn't see them.

* * Later * *

Luna explained what she thought of Professor Moody.

She said he was less than sane, an accomplishment on its own, but a good teacher overall.

"Hmph." Elisha added her own say. "Something makes me nervous around him."

"Really, what?" Neville asked.

Elisha shrugged. "Can't say. Just makes me nervous."

Harry said nothing. Maybe Alice would have something to learn.

* * Later * *

'_Less than sane_?' Harry thought as he watched the spider twitch and writhe.

The Cruciatus Curse. It caused unimaginable pain that could lead to insanity if left on too long.

Case in point, Alice and Frank Longbottom had been driven insane by Death Eaters after the fall of Voldemort.

"Stop it!" He yelled. Neville had become paler than any ghost in Hogwarts.

Professor Moody lifted the curse. "Do you know another, Potter?"

"The Killing Curse." He said, sitting down.

"Correct. Five points to Gryffindor." He pointed his wand at the still twitching spider. "Avada Kedavra." A whooshing sound and a flash of green light and all pain and life left the spider.

Everyone paled.

"And the third?" He asked.

Harry dreaded the example for, what he considered the worst of the Unforgivables."

"The Imperius." Malfoy said quietly. He had never seen anyone, even his father, use the spells so easily.

"Good. Five points to Slytherin." The man pulled a second jar out. Another spider was put on the desk. "Imperio." The spider started to do things that no spider should be able to do.

"I could make this spider do anything I want it to." He said. "I could make it sit in a raging fire, drown itself, jump down one of your throats." Several people paled at this. "The Imperius gives one complete control over the victim." He lifted the spell.

* * Later * *

"He's completely nuts!" Harry said.

"What did he do?" Elisha asked, looking up from her book.

"He-he showed us the Unforgivables." Neville stuttered.

The two Ravenclaws stared.

"Liar." Elisha said. "From what I've heard, Alastor Moody never used them."

"So, what do we do about it?" Harry said.

"So, how would someone impersonate him?" Hermione asked.

'Polyjuice Potion.' Alice said. 'He puts it in his flask.'

"Polyjuice Potion." Harry snapped his fingers.

"How would he drink it?" Hermione asked.

"His flask." Luna provided Alice's suggestion.

"So how do we prove it?" Harry said.

'Switch it.' Alice said.

The five where silent.

"I got it!" Hermione said. "We switch it!"

"How?" Harry said. "Whoever it is will be as paranoid about it as the real Moody."

Hermione opened her mouth and closed it, having no real idea.

"Let's think on this later." Elisha said.

"It's nearly curfew." Neville pointed out.

* * A Week before Halloween * *

The arrival of the other schools was impressive. Durmstrang's arrival was much more impressive than Beauxbatons'. Appearing through a whirlpool in the middle of the lake used actual magic than a couple teams of flying horses.

The students of Durmstrang fell in line as the students of Hogwarts, with the Slytherins.

Harry ignored the glares of Slytherin house as he introduced himself to the foreign students and asked Krum for his autograph.

It was revealed that the Goblet of Fire, an ancient device, would choose the champions by some unknown means.

The age restriction would be put into practice by an age line.

* * One Day Later * *

Everyone watched as Fred and George Weasley downed the Aging Potion and walked into the circle with confidence.

They were blown back several feet and grew long beards and their hair turned grey. The looked at each other and laughed.

* * Halloween * *

Harry was happily discussing the theory of evolution with a Beauxbatons student as they brought the Goblet into the Great Hall.

"Fleur Delacour." Dumbledore called a beautiful blonde forward.

"Victor Krum." The Quidditch player made his way.

All of Hogwarts held its breath as their Champion was decided. "Cedric Diggory." The Hufflepuff smiled as he followed the other two.

Harry turned back to the French girl as he saw the cup flare a fourth time.

'Oh god no.' He thought as Dumbledore called out his name.

"Harry Potter." He said gravely.

"Why me?" He said as he went to join the other Champions.

* * With the Other Champions * *

"Do they want us back out?" Cedric asked Harry as he walked into the room.

"No, fate wants me dead." He replied.

"Is it possible for you to have a normal year?" Cedric asked.

"They are letting you compete?" Krum asked.

"It's not fair." Fleur said.

"Why isn't it fair?" Harry asked. "A 14 year old competing against a trio of 17 year olds or Hogwarts getting two Champions?"

Fleur was quiet.

"Both." Her headmistress said.

"Is there any way I can avoid this?" Harry asked Dumbledore. "Please tell me there's a way."

"I'm afraid not." He said sadly.

"Damn." Harry crossed his arms.

"You could have eternal" Karkaroff, Durmstrang's headmaster started.

"I don't want any more glory!" Harry hissed. "What I want is a peaceful year so I can watch _others_ get eternal glory!"

The group was silent.

Being Harry Potter sucked.

* * That Night * *

Gryffindor was divided as to who to cheer on.

At least until Harry told them to support Cedric, the true Hogwarts Champion.

* * Next Day * *

Harry called the HPFC.

"But." They said.

"No, spread the word." Harry said. "Support Cedric."

"You can't stop us from cheering you on." A seventh year said.

"As long as you also support Cedric I'm fine with that." Harry said.

* * Weighing of the Wands

He had been pulled out of class for this?

"If you ask me one more question in this cupboard, I'll scream." Harry said.

The reporter blinked.

"And my fangirls will come."

She paled.

* * Later * *

"Dragons?" Cedric said. "We're going up against _dragons_?!"

"Yes." Harry said. "Not sure what we have to do though."

"Can I get some help on this?" Cedric said. "Please? For a Hogwarts victory?"

"Yeah." Harry said. "For a Hogwarts victory."

Two heads were better than one.

* * First Task * *

Harry nearly broke down crying as he pulled out the Horntail. "I don't wanna die, Cedric."

"There, there, Harry." Cedric patted him on the back. "You'll be fine."

* * Later * *

Harry watched the mother dragon push her eggs around.

He started to walk towards her.

A small burst of flame made him stop.

He cast the Flame Repellent spell. He didn't want to be roasted.

"Right then." He said. Now was the chance to prove the theory that dragons could understand Parseltongue.

Hermione thought it was a long shot, but since when has that stopped Harry?

_"Honorable mother."_ He hissed to the amazement and shock of the crowd. They had heard rumors of Harry Potter being able to talk to snakes, but to see it in person?

The dragon snapped her head around. She hissed.

_"Please listen to me."_ Harry continued. _"One of your eggs has been switched."_

The dragon turned her head to the side.

'Intelligent as a cat then.' Harry thought. _"It will not harm the rest of your clutch, but it was stolen from my family."_

The dragon licked her lips.

_"All I want is the stolen egg."_ Harry said. _"I will leave you alone after that."_

The dragon sent a belch of fire at the boy and turned back to her clutch. 'Don't care.' It seemed to say.

_"Honorable mother, I will take the egg back."_ Harry's voice became rather commanding now. _"If you do not give it to me peacefully, I _will_ take it back by force."_

The dragon hissed in challenge.

_"As you wish."_ Harry said before pulling out a long scroll. A series of markings confused the crowd.

*Poof*

A large scorpion puppet appeared. Harry attached strings of light to the joints, tail, and head. 'Time to put on a show.' Harry thought.

The scorpion shook itself. It seemed alive, though everyone could tell it was a puppet.

The dragon turned to the sound of metal on metal and moved herself over the cultch.

_"Give me my egg or I will have my creature destroy the rest."_ Harry said.

The dragon hissed, but gave up. She was willing to concede one egg to save the others. She found the different one and flipped over to the human.

The scorpion puppet caught the egg and put it at its controller's feet. The strings of light faded and the scorpion vanished the way it had appeared.

Harry hissed as he picked up the hot egg. He had come away unharmed. He saw the dragon handlers looking at him in awe.

_There, the First Task._

**Since you people are so eager for a new chapter.**

_Anyways, Portal is the fandom that has our attention atm._

**And if you're waiting for Summon Bloodline, don't hold your breath.**

_You may die. Sorry._

**Yes, we know the dragon understanding Parseltongue is a bit cliché, but she couldn't ****_speak_**** it.**

_So, yeah. This will probably be it for a while._

**Also, Harry's Scorpion has only 6 legs including its pincers. It is also made of stainless steel spelled to be really light. Its tail doesn't have any poison, so it's just for stabbing.**

_Yeah, the tasks will be the same things. So, who should get taken?_


	15. Eggs Can't Dance!

_**Eggs Can't Dance.**_

Harry glared at the egg. Every time he opened it the egg would give off a horrid screeching sound.

One of his fanboys, who had a parent in the inter-species relations department pointed out that it sounded like Mermish.

"How do I translate it?!" He snapped. The fanboy shrugged but suggested to listen to it underwater.

* * Later * *

Harry took a deep breath, dunked both his head and the egg underwater and opened it.

This time, instead of shrieking, a beautiful female voice sang. "Come seek us where our voices sound, we cannot sing above the ground, and while you're searching, ponder this; we've taken what you'll sorely miss, an hour long you'll have to look, and recover what we took, but past an hour - the prospect's black, too late, it's gone, it won't come back."

He sighed. "'What you'll sorely miss'?" He muttered. "Is that an item or a person?"

* * Later * *

"Well, if it's Mermish than the task will happen in the lake." Elisha pointed out the obvious. "In the middle of winter. The makers of the tasks are morons."

Luna laughed. "Of course I'm more worried about the last part. You really think they'll put bystanders at risk?"

"I haven't been near the lake yet, but the Mermish village will probably be in one of the deeper parts of the lake." Elisha said. "They don't really like humans all that much."

"And they have a village near a _school of children_?" Hermione gasped. "That's just…"

"Idiotic?" Elisha supplied. "Senseless? Hermione, back when the school and the Mermish village were founded, merpeople and humans got along _much_ better." She paused. "Actually, the UK has destroyed most non-human relations." She frowned. "Except for house elves, but I'm sure if their magic didn't usually rely on having masters than I'm sure we'd be screwed. House elves know much."

"Really?" Hermione said. "I didn't know that."

"Yep, not sure how it happened, but the resultant inbreeding only made it worse." Elisha said. "Mother finds them interesting, but doesn't trust them to work the shop."

Hermione looked disturbed.

"They sound fascinating." Luna said.

"I've met two, both are insane." Harry said. "Is the inbreeding the reason?"

"If you mean Dobby, yes." Elisha said. "If the other is from the Black family, more than likely yes. If you meet an insane one here at Hogwarts, it's probably just that particular one. They take good care of house elves here."

"Okay, back to the 2nd Task." Harry said. "How am I going to get to the Mermish village?"

"Gillyweed." Neville said. "It allows you to breath underwater."

"Cool, how about the cold water." Harry asked. "I mean it will be in the middle of winter."

"There are spelled swimwear for cold water." Elisha said.

"So I'll get some spelled swimwear and some gillyweed." Harry said.

"What about the ball?" Ginny asked.

"What ball?" Harry blinked.

"The one that they announced at the Welcoming Feast?" Elisha asked. "It's going to happen on Christmas Eve. You completely forgot didn't you?"

"Heh heh…" Harry laughed nervously. "Yeah, and I need a date, don't I? 'Mione?"

"I'm already going with someone." She said.

"Who is it?" Harry asked.

"You'll have to wait to find out." She said.

"I'm too young to go." Elisha said.

"Ginny?" Harry asked.

"Sure." She said. "I'll need to get a dress robe though."

"Um, Luna?" Neville asked.

"Yes, I'll go with you." She said.

"I feel rather left out." Elisha smiled.

* * Later * *

"Since my date's going with emerald green, should I get red?" Ginny asked.

"No, you really don't have the looks to go with a lot of red." The assistant said. "Maybe navy blue? No, you wouldn't look good any dark colors beyond black. Shouldn't do grey either because of house pride. Dark gold, perhaps." She chattered too fast for Ginny to follow. The cloth of the robe she was wearing shifted through the colors of the rainbow. "What shade of emerald green is he wearing, just say stop when it matches the color." The woman said as she dragged another doll over. It had another fabric.

"Stop." Ginny said as she saw the correct shade.

"Excellent." The woman said.

Elisha snickered at Ginny's plight.

* * Later * *

"Thanks for getting it." Ginny said.

"This is your Christmas present from me." Elisha smiled.

* * Later * *

Harry gaped as Hermione came down the stairs. "Wow. You look wonderful." He said. "So do you, Ginny."

"Thanks, Harry." She said as she flicked imaginary dust off of the dark gold robe.

* * Later * *

After the first few dances, Harry decided to stop for the night. He offered Ginny to take her out into the garden.

It was a shock to find out that Hagrid had giant blood in him. Giants were violent creatures while Hagrid was friendly to nearly everyone and everything. Only his height would've tipped them off.

The conversation that interested the pair more was between the Potions Master and Durmstrang's Headmaster.

Voldemort was gaining strength, if the Dark Mark's darkening was anything to go by.

* * Later * *

"We know Karkaroff is a death eater." Elisha said. "Can't remember how _he_ got off though."

"How'd Snape get off?" Ginny asked.

"Dumbledore." Harry said. "Dumbledore has a lot more power than you would think. Probably spoke up for him."

"Maybe." Ginny replied. "Don't know why he trusts him."

"Not much we can do about it." Harry said. "Moving on. Gillyweed doesn't keep well, so I'll have to get it the day of the task."

"Professor Snape should have some." Luna said. "It is used in a lot of potions."

"He's not going to give me any." Harry said. "Though I do have a couple Slytherin HPFC members."

"I'm sure you could ask them." Ginny said. "But you think you can trust them?"

"Never doubt the loyalty of a fangirl, Ginny." Harry smiled.

"Fine." She said.

After that they moved onto other topics, including the interschool dynamics, pranks from the Weasley twins, lack of strange activity from last year and other things.

_Alright, we have a poll up._

**We don't know who to put at the bottom of the lake. Can't do Ron since we booted him out of the story back in chapter 9.**

_Hermione is still Krum's hostage. So we can't put her at the bottom of the lake for Harry._

**Also, should we have Fleur be a wuss and fail to get her sister back?**


	16. Water, Water, Everywhere

**_Water, Water Everywhere_**

* * 1 Month before 2nd Task * *

"The Mermish village is in this general area." Harry pointed out. He had asked Moaning Myrtle about the layout of the lake. She couldn't give him an exact location.

"You could use a locating charm to find it." Elisha said. "Though I have a feeling that 'what you'll sorely miss' is a person."

"I guess we'll find out who you like most." Luna smiled.

"Stop the creepy smile, Luna." Harry said. "Please?"

Luna merely looked away.

_You'll have to be careful._ Alice advised. _She's in Ravenclaw for a reason._

* * Day of the 2nd Task * *

Harry groaned as he noticed that Elisha was gone. He was going to die a very electrified death if he didn't get her back in time not to mention the flak Luna was going to give him either way.

Harry looked at the stands and thankfully didn't see Elisha's mother, though Luna was giving him a glare worthy of Snape.

"Good day, everyone!" Ludo Bagman said. "Welcome to the second task of the Triwizard Tournament!"

Harry shivered. Even with the spelled suit wouldn't keep out all the cold.

* * Several Days Earlier * *

"This won't keep you completely warm for more than 30 minutes." Neville warned. "Not here anyways, so be careful and get in and out as soon as possible."

"Thanks." Harry said before putting the suit away.

* * Present * *

*BANG*

Harry shoved the disgusting plant into his mouth. He felt the gills and webbing form. It wasn't painful, but it was weird.

'Point me.' Harry thought as he lightly held onto his wand and focused on his friend. The webbing made things much easier.

* * Later * *

Harry saw Fleur struggle against some Grindylows and rolled his eyes.

Movement caught Harry's eye as Fleur transformed. 'So she can do that.'

He paled as the blonde proceeded to turn the water creatures to bloody pieces of meat. Her eyes met his. Her mind wasn't completely there, so Harry swam as fast as he could. He noticed she was following him easily.

* * Fleur * *

Her mind was slightly fuzzy as she followed the boy. He was trying to find his kin too. The boy and Fleur had the same goal, find and rescue what was precious to them, and it was in the same place.

So she followed him.

* * Harry * *

Harry gulped as he felt the girl following him. The fact she was doing so with half bird features amazed him. He looked back. The girl had canceled most of the bubble head charm she had been using. It was merely covering her nose and mouth now. 'She must have two eyelids now.' Harry thought as he saw the lights of the Mermish village. Harry pointed to a tall spire.

Fleur nodded and angled towards it.

* * Later * *

Fleur managed to get to the spire first. She went to a small blonde, her sister, and tore the bindings. She hesitated before doing so to Elisha's as well to Harry's surprise.

Harry caught the girl. He looked at the remaining hostage, Cho Chang. 'Must be Cedric's.' He thought before conjuring some rope and wrapping it around himself and Elisha. He went up.

* * Later * *

Harry was shivering as he waited the gillyweed out. Snape smirked at him. The potion's master knew how to get rid of the gills before it went away on its own.

* * Later * *

Harry flinched as Rose Estraz stormed past him.

"I told her it was Dumbledore and the Ministry of Magic's idea to use me." Elisha said. "You're on your own with Luna."

Harry sighed as he looked at the long emerald green hair he was sporting.

* * Later * *

Harry tried to not laugh as they saw the Headmaster at dinner that night. He was wearing the jester's outfit, though this time it was green and silver, a collar with a name tag, and hair that was blood red and bright gold. Never be it said that the Estraz line was boring or unimaginative.

* * Next Morning * *

"You helped her." Hermione said as the Prophet proclaimed complete chaos at the Ministry of Magic.

"She said if I didn't there would be great pain and humiliation." Harry admitted.

* * At the Ministry * *

Minister Fudge was not a happy camper. The main hall looked like a dozen paint bombs of every color imaginable had gone off, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement looked like a tornado had gone through it, the Department of Mysteries had nearly a thousand black chickens put into it, the Department of Magical Games and the Department of International Relations were the worst. Fudge shuddered at the memories.

* * Earlier * *

Ludo Bagman twitched as stone statues stared him down. He could swear it moved every time he looked away.

One of his underlings screamed as something ran past her. They couldn't catch whatever they were. Brief glimpses out of the corner of his eye made him see foxes with multiple tails.

On his desk was a note.

"Use anyone in my family for your enjoyment again and I'll make this look like child's play."

"Rose Estraz"

* * Later * *

Harry stared at the half grown hedge maze. This was going to be awesome.

"They got Hooch to allow this _how_?" Cedric moaned gaining odd glances from the others.

"I have no idea." Harry asked. "So we have to get through the maze?"

"Just to the center where the Triwizard Cup will be." The man said.

"Fun time." Harry said sarcastically.

_Do you people like Elisha?_

**Anyways, next time is the 3****rd**** task and the Charlie Foxtrot that follows.**

_After that the summer after 4__th__ year, same as last summer. Harry won't go back to the Dursley's._

**Straight to the house of Black. Sorry for the lack of Wonderland this year, we'll make up for it during 5****th**** year with Umbridge's reign of terror.**

_Which will be countered with Wonderland's return._

**_Bwhahaha_**

**Anyways, thanks for reading, please review.**

_9 more until 100 reviews! WOO-HOO!_

**Yeah, only 9 more.**


	17. Training for an A-maze-ing Task

**_Training for an A-maze-ing Task_**

Harry leaned back and thought about what to do. Alice and Chesh had stepped his training in Wonderland, insane obstacle course filled with Ruins and Boltflies.

They had even thrown him into the Red Queen's, who had evidently taken a liking to him, clutches and told him to escape within a day, using only the tools of Wonderland.

Needless to say Harry avoided the lake at Hogwarts and any questions as to _why_ he was avoiding the lake like the plague for a good month, even longer for Queensland.

* * Hogwarts * *

"Accio." Harry whispered. He was playing a four-way magical version of Capture the Flag between the other houses, western magic only, as to not give Gryffindor an overwhelming advantage.

The Slytherin that had been guarding the flag cut his spell short.

"Ohce." Harry heard as a wave of dizziness came over both of them and the green and silver flag went out of sight into the woods.

'I _hate_ that spell.' Harry thought as he followed his Ravenclaw friend once the dizziness passed.

* * Later * *

Nearly everyone was soaked to the skin due to a group water summoning spell at Slytherin's last stand.

It had washed all of the non-Slytherin students away, giving the clock enough to run out.

The prize was 300 house points.

Even though it had been Slytherin who claimed victory, no one was all that upset about it. Everyone had a good time.

* * Later * *

"I-I can't do it." Harry collapsed.

Alice leaned on the giant Hobby Horse. "Really? You're giving up that easily?"

Harry's own Hobby Horse was across the room. "You gave me back to the Red Queen yesterday and I got out only a few hours ago, you sadist!"

Alice laughed.

"It's not funny." Harry pouted.

"Get up." Alice said pulling out her Vorpal Blade.

Harry mentally wept as he pulled out his own, emerald green trails following the butcher knife's path.

* * Later * *

* * Hogwarts * *

Harry fell asleep, as usual, in History of Magic, Binn's voice had that magical quality, and dreamed.

* * Dream * *

* *Riddle Manor * *

Harry found himself unable to control his body, maybe he was semi-possessing someone else? He also saw that he had a floor level point of view.

He heard Voldemort, the high voice was unmistakable, talking to someone.

"Thingsss are going well then?" The evil wizard's voice had a snake like lisp to it.

"Yes, the spy is ready to plant the Portkey when the task begins." The person said.

The body Harry was semi-possessing hissed as it entered the room.

"Ah, Nagini." Voldemort said with fondness. "Did you feed well?"

Revulsion filled Harry's entire mind as the body hissed in pleasure.

'Ew, ew, ew, triple ew.' Harry thought.

* * End Dream * *

He was incredibly thankful when Hermione woke him up.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Bad dream, very bad dream." Harry said. "That's all."

"If you say so."

* * Later * *

Harry practiced his puppetry, he could control a puppet with each hand now, though it was difficult and he probably wouldn't be able to do it in a battle situation for some time yet.

Hermione was not doing so well. She wasn't easily grasping the use of Jutsu beyond the Academy Three, though she had those down to the point of only needing a single handsign to use them.

"Why can't I get it?!" She snapped at the boy who was using his puppets to clean up a small cave in that had happened due to a small duel between the pair.

"You got the first three down." Harry said as he focused on the pair of puppets and the rocks that they were moving.

"That's like getting a trio of _first year_ spells down!"

"In what, 9 months?" Harry said. "You also had to learn a completely new foundation to learn them, so from my point of view you're doing really well."

"And you're gotten to the really advanced stuff." She hissed.

Harry froze. "I've been training more than you." He said.

"How?"

"Um…" Harry said.

"A time turner or those clones of yours?

"No, something else that allows me spend more time than should be possible." Harry said. "Can I please leave it at that?"

Hermione glared at the young wizard. "Fine."

"Thanks." Harry smiled and turned his attention back to the cleanup.

* * Later * *

* * Third Task * *

Harry and the other champions stood at the entrance, in order of their points.

Harry breathed in and out and entered the maze at the sound of the gun.

**As Ravelon pointed out in his/hers review/PM conversation that followed, Naruto's version of magic isn't really ideal to this story.**

_As we said to him/her, it's our story so deal with it. Also about the Kage Bunshin we had him learn in back in chapter 5, Harry can really only make one or three at a time before the exhaustion hits him._

**He/she also pointed out that Harry got epically good at it in the 22 months or so (real time) that has happened in the story so far. Note the real time in parenthesis. As far as we can tell, unless they are like super talented, Suna nins (main users of Puppetry in Naruto) a lot longer to learn to Harry's level, which is Kankuro's at the time of the Retrieve Sasuke arc in Naruto. So probably 5-6 years of training for Suna nins.**

_Harry can go to Wonderland. Alice controls the time rate between Wonderland and the real world, so he could get that much training in._

**Sasori is a scorpion like puppet, hence the name Sasori, only instead of 6 legs and 2 pincers(making it an arachnid like spiders), it only has 4 legs. Harry used Sasori in the first task.**

_As to the Red Queen and Harry avoiding the lake thing, look up "Alice meets the Red Queen", read the comments, and stick your head in the gutter._

**~Shudders~ Ew.**

_So, next up is the third task… _

**Not joking this time, though the next chapter may or may not include the Charlie Foxtrot that follows.**

_Ohce (echo spelled backwards is an echolocation spell that sends out a shock wave of sound which can mess up the liquid in the inner ear causing dizziness._

**_100 reviews yay!_**

_Sorry for the pun in the chapter title._


	18. AN

_We have something to say._

**Through the Looking Glass, after nearly 2 years, as it is now is dead.**

_That being said we are rewriting from chapter 3 on._

**So, our question is 'Should we replace the chapters, put up a new story named 'Through the Looking Glass Redux?'**

_Also, should we do a separate story, should we take this one down?_

**Anyways, thoughts, questions, ideas, and musings welcome.**

_Flames will be used to make S'mores._

**If we get enough we'll also been roasting hotdogs.**

_Also, Portal 2 is awesomeness!_

**In order to get away with having this as a AN chapter, here's a small blurb.**

Harry Potter was a strange boy who had many adventures. He died in a powder sugar explosion.

The end.


	19. AN2

_So, the first chapter of Through the Looking Glass Redux is up__  
_** .System, We're going to leave this one up anyways since the Redux is going to be extremely different, darker with more Wonderland… And maybe less Alice.**

_D-M-F, we changed our minds about Task 1 and 2. Task 3 would've featured the Red Queen with the boggart._

**Guest, we know how you feel.**

_Another thing that irritates us is how, if the author decides to stop writing, they change it to complete._

**This will not be indicated as so. It is not complete and never will be…**

_The Awesome Sugar Sparkles, more than likely Naruto won't be in the redux… Maybe as a cameo, but no major powers, like puppetry…_

**On another note, we failed at the Fable 3 Psycho!Heroine playthrough fic… She isn't evil, more Chaotic neutral… Maybe Chaotic good.**

_Even had it all planed out…_

**Meh, we'll try again in November.**

_Moving on, here's another snippet like last chapter._

Harry Potter was an abnormally normal boy. He went to school and had no adventures what so ever and managed to climb up the corporate ladder to the head of Grunning's Drills Inc, the company that employed his also abnormally normal Uncle Vernon. He promoted Vernon and gave his abnormally normal cousin a job.

They all lived abnormally normal lives with no freakishness invading their abnormally normal world.

Until the aliens showed up, via an American company's screw up with portal technology, and nearly destroyed the world, then much freakishness ensued as Harry led the rebellion with a gravity gun.

Sadly Harry died in the final charge leaving his role of leader to a mute American.


End file.
